ed, "but they said they wanted to stay in
session while Mr. Wilson was in Europe to _help_ him, and Mr. Wilson
thought they wanted to stay in session while he was in Europe to knock
him, and he said: 'Watch! I'll fix them fellers,' and _they_ said:
'Watch! _We'll_ fix that feller.' And between the two of them, the
railroads is left dry and high, the War Risks Bureau claims that they
could only keep going for a week or so, the Soldiers' Relations people
is sending out J O S signals, and that's the way it goes."

"And who do you think is right, Mawruss?" Abe asked. "Mr. Wilson or
Congress?"

"Well, I ain't exactly prepared to say, y'understand," Morris replied,
"but it's a question in my mind whether or not there ain't just so much
need for a Peace Conference in Washington as there is in Paris, and if
so, Abe, whether Mr. Wilson ain't at the wrong Peace Conference."

"So far as that goes, Mawruss," Abe said, "he might just so well be in
Washington as in Paris, because the tapestry and gold-casket period of
this here Conference is already a thing of the past, which I see that
Mr. Wilson ain't even staying with the Murats no longer."

"Naturally," Morris said, "after the way this here Murat went around
talking about the League of Nations."

"Why, I thought he was in favor of it!" Abe said.

"He was in favor of it," Morris said, "up to the time Mr. Wilson and
Lord George had the conference with the Jugo-Slobs where they laid out
the frontiers by making the ink-bottle represent Bessarabia and the
mucilage-bottle Macedonia. When Murat saw the library carpet the next
morning, he began to say that, after all, why shouldn't France control
her own foreign policy."

"I don't blame him," Abe commented.

"Later on the Polish National Committee called on Mr. Wilson and was
shown into the parlor before the butler had a chance to put the slip
covers on the furniture," Morris continued, "and that very evening Murat
went around saying that if France was going to have to police the
corridor through West Prussia to Dantzig, he was against articles
fourteen to twenty, both inclusive, of the League constitution, and
where could he find a good dry-cleaner."

"That don't surprise me, neither," Abe remarked.

"But it wasn't till the President's body-guard of secret-service men had
an all-night stud-poker session in the yellow guest-room that he
actually made speeches against the League of Nations," Morris went on,
"and at that, the r