y to compare the
statement of assets of each company and judge which was the most
reliable, y'understand. Also, Mawruss, if the Algonquin Trust Company
was now President of the United States, understand me, and somebody was
to say they didn't like the way the President was running things at the
Peace Conference, y'understand, nobody would have the nerve to arrest
him for criticizing a great and good corporation like the Algonquin
Trust Company. Furthermore, Mawruss, if Italy had been represented at
this here Peace Conference not by Sonnino, but by the Milan Trust
Company, which no doubt acts as executor, guardian or trustee like any
other trust company, and therefore why not as ambassador, understand me,
there never would have been no scrap about Fiume arising from the fact
that the Milan Trust Company could never go home and face the people of
Italy without Fiume, and also nobody would have considered that Mr.
Wilson's statement was a direct slap in the face of the Milan Trust
Company, Mawruss."

"Listen, Abe," Morris protested, "if you are trying to invent this
_schmooes_ about corporations just so you could knock Mr. Wilson,
y'understand, such a scheme wouldn't deceive a child even."

"I wouldn't knock President Wilson for anything, Mawruss," Abe retorted.
"I _couldn't_ knock him, because when I think of Mr. Wilson I see
before my eyes a good-looking gentleman with a pleasant smile on his
face, y'understand, and not very far away stands Mrs. Wilson, which, if
Mr. Wilson didn't put over even one fourteenth of his fourteen points,
Mawruss, his visit to Europe with Mrs. Wilson wouldn't be wasted,
Mawruss, because it would have given them people over in the old country
a chance to see what an American lady is and should ought to be,
y'understand. But on the other hand, Mawruss, if the Democrats _had_
elected the Algonquin Trust Company as President of the United States at
the last election, y'understand, whenever I would think of the President
of the United States I would see before my eyes a twenty-five-story
fire-proof building with all the rents raised one hundred and fifty per
cent. since last January, understand me, and I could go to work and
knock with a clear conscience."

"But why should you want to knock the President of the United States?"
Morris demanded.

"Ain't I telling you that I don't want to knock him?" Abe declared. "All
I am saying is that, if such a thing was possible, it would be a whole
lot bet