orus of _Yows!_"

"Well, so far as I could see, nobody compels Mr. Wilson to write a
history of that Peace Conference if he don't want to," Morris replied,
"and if he should decide not to do so, he could always rent that
Southern California property furnished for the season, or if he feels
that he must occupy it himself for history business purposes, he could
anyhow write a domestic History of the United States from December 5,
1918, to July 6, 1919, both inclusive, in which his name need hardly
occur at all. But joking to one side, Abe, when the history of this here
Peace Conference gets written, it don't make no difference who writes
it, he ain't going to be able to ignore Mr. Wilson exactly. In fact,
Abe, the history of this here Peace Conference is going to be more or
less principally about Mr. Wilson, and if the feller who writes it
wouldn't be exactly Senator Lodge, y'understand, the truth is bound to
leak out that Mr. Wilson did a wonderful job over in Paris. Of course he
made a whole lot of enemies over here, but then he also made a whole lot
of peace over there, Abe, and, after all, that is what he went there
for."

"Still I couldn't help thinking that from a business point of view,
Mawruss, the Peace Conference suffered a good deal from poor
management," Abe said. "Take for instance the signing of the Peace
Treaty in Mirror Hall, Versailles, and properly worked up, the Allies
could of made enough out of that one show alone to pay for all the ships
that Germany sank a few days ago, which holding a thing like that in a
hall, Mawruss, is a sample of what kind of management there was."

"They had the Germans sign that Peace Treaty in that hall because it was
the same hall where them Germans made the French sign the Peace Treaty
in 1870," Morris explained.

"Sure I know," Abe said, "but what did they know about such things in
1870? Even grand opera they gave in halls in them days, which,
considering the amount of interest there was in the signing of the Peace
Treaty, Mawruss, I bet yer enough people was turned away from Mirror
Hall, Versailles, to more than fill five halls of the same size. As it
was, Mawruss, so many people crowded into that Mirror Hall that nobody
could see anything, and the consequence was that when Clemenceau begun
his speech the disorder was something terrible."

"I suppose his opening remark was: 'Koosh! What is this? A
_Kaffeeklatsch_ or something?'" Morris remarked, satirically.

"It