whether at the conference between
him, Clemenceau, Lord George, Venezuelas, and Baron Ishii, held in
Parlor A on March 22d, did or did not somebody order a rye-bread tongue
sandwich and a split of Evian water, and if so to please sign inclosed
check for same, _non pro tunc_ as of March 22d, 1919, understand me,
before the only effect an envelope addressed in the handwriting of Mr.
Grew will have on Mr. Wilson is that he is going to throw it unopened
into the waste-paper basket without so much as saying, 'I wonder what
that _schlemiel_ wants from me _now_.'"

"As a matter of fact, Abe, the price of food 'ain't interested Mr.
Wilson since a few days ago when he asked Mrs. Wilson, 'How much are we
paying now for coffee, mommer?' and Mrs. Wilson says fifty-eight cents
a pound, and Mr. Wilson says for the love of Mike, and then asks what
she is paying for eggs, and Mrs. Wilson says at Ginsburg's Economy
Market eighty-five cents a dozen, and Mr. Wilson says he would just as
lieve have some hash from last night's rib roast, and Mrs. Wilson says
she doesn't blame him and so would she, but that they are going to have
that rib roast cold for lunch on account Ginsburg is practically
_schenking_ his customers rib roast for fifty-five cents a pound,"
Morris said.

"And how did you come to hear about this conversation, Mawruss?" Abe
asked.

"I didn't hear about it," Morris replied, "but I presume it took place
the morning after the newspapers printed the report of the Federal Trade
Commission about the packing-houses, Abe, because a similar conversation
happened at my breakfast-table that morning, and I presume it also
happened at yours."

"Well, it's time that business men begun to take a little interest in
the cost of what they are eating, Mawruss," Abe said. "On account of the
increase in the price of food, Mawruss, the business man is now paying
more money to all the people which is working for him, except his wife."

"Sure, I know," Morris said, "but the business man which is mean enough
to hold down his wife to twenty dollars a week housekeeping money simply
because the principle of the closed shop and collective bargaining can't
be applied to an American household the way it could to a Turkish
harem, Abe, don't live so well as he used to. Former times when such a
man complained to his wife that the chicken was a little tough,
y'understand, she used to say, 'What do you want for twenty dollars a
week housekeeping money--m