the Salvation Army to a low-life
army like the German army," Abe protested.

"I am only talking for the sake of argument, Abe," Morris assured him,
"which if this here Section Six is carried out, Abe, the new German army
wouldn't be armed with anything near as dangerous as doughnuts. In fact,
Abe, the way this here Peace Treaty specifies what arms and ammunition
the German army should be supplied with, the only thing that it would
got to remind it that it is an army and not a _Saengerbund_ would be the
uniforms."

"And I am surprised that the Peace Treaty didn't forbid uniforms also,
Mawruss," Abe said, "because if it wouldn't of been for his uniforms,
Mawruss, the chances is that the German people would of caught on to
that miserable four-flusher of a Kaiser already long since ago, Mawruss.
Take these here spiked helmets, in particular the ones which is made of
nickel plate, Mawruss, and only to wear such a thing is liable to bring
out all the meanness in them naturally mean German soldiers, Mawruss, so
therefore I am in favor that the Peace Treaty be amended by providing
that the uniform of the German army should be a three-button, black,
single-breasted sack suit with no padding in the shoulders, Mawruss, and
the helmet should be a brown derby hat of the pattern of 1898, and that
the soldiers agree to wear this derby hat, of the same block and width
of brim, for at least twenty years, Mawruss, because nothing takes the
conceit out of a man so much as wearing a funny-looking hat,
y'understand."

"This here Peace Treaty don't need no outside assistance when it comes
to taking the conceit out of the German army, and the navy, neither,
Abe," Morris continued. "In fact, Section Six does the same to the
German navy as you would like to do to the German army, excepting that,
instead of derby hats, it refers to battle-ships. In other words, Abe,
it says that the German navy should have only six small battle-ships and
that none of them could be replaced inside of twenty years. Just
consider for a moment how it feels for a speed-bug which once used to
consider that if he didn't buy himself every three months a new
special-body twin six, y'understand, that he was living pretty close to
the cushion, and condemn such a feller to go round for the next twenty
years in a four-cylinder 1910-model Punkocar, Abe, and you will get some
small idea of what Admiral von Tirpitz and all them other bloodthirsty
German admirals feels when t