steamers, loss of services of the
Presidents of such republics by reason of tonsillitis from talking about
how bravely they would have fought if they had raised an army and navy
which they didn't, y'understand, and any other claims against Germany
which they think they might have had a chance to get by with."

"Well, of course there is bound to be a lot of them small republics
which is going to make a play for a little easy money, Mawruss," Abe
said, "but the indications is that when the proofs of claims is filed by
the alleged creditors, y'understand, there would be a couple of them
comma hounds on the Reparation Committee which would reject such claims
on the grounds of misplaced semicolons alone. Then six months
hafterwards, when the representative of one of them republics goes over
to what used to was the office of the Peace Conference with a revised
proof of claim, which he has just received by return mail, understand
me, he would find the premises temporarily occupied by one of them
crooked special-sale trunk concerns, and that's all there would _be_ to
it."

"Then you think that this here Peace Conference would only last six
months, Abe?" Morris asked.

"Sure I do," Abe replied, "and less, even, because right now already the
interest is beginning to die out, which it wouldn't surprise me in the
slightest, Mawruss, if in three weeks or so, when Mr. Wilson is
temporarily out of the cast on account of going home to America to sign
the new tax bill, y'understand, the attendance of the delegates would
begin to fall off so bad, understand me, that the Peace Conference
managers would got to spend a lot of money for putting in advertisements
that George Clemenceau presents:

"'THE INTERNATIONAL PEACE CONFERENCE

The Unparalleled Success of Two Hemispheres

'Enthralling' _Tribune_
'Punch with a Kick in It' _Sun_
'Vigor and Suspense' _World_
'Wins Audience' _Globe_
'Gripping' _Mail_
'Ausgezeichnet' _Tageblatt_

QUAI D'ORSAY

Now.

Matinees, Saturday, 2:30.'"

"And even then they wouldn't get an audience, Abe," Morris said,
"because those kind of advertisements don't fool nobody but the suckers
which pays for them, Abe."

"Maybe not," Abe agreed, "but if the delegates stays away, Mawruss, the
Peace Conference could always get an audience by l