miserable miscreant!"

These were the dulcet breathings of the "oaten stop" of the Member for
Edinburgh at the Peace gathering. "That miserable miscreant," said
pacific MR. COWAN, "the DUKE OF TUSCANY." Well, we thought Peace
proffered olives; but here are offerings very like bad eggs.

* * * * *

[Illustration: WHY COALS ARE DEAR.]

* * * * *

TO FIGHT OR NOT TO FIGHT? THAT IS THE QUESTION.

[Illustration: O]

Our curiosity has been not merely on tip-toe, but positively upon stilts
for some months past, watching the no result of the hostile
correspondence between the Great Bear and the little Turkey-cock. The
whole affair has been almost as absurd as an "affair of honour;" and if
the parties concerned had been individuals instead of nations, the
business would have long ago been brought to a conclusion, by being
overwhelmed with a storm of ridicule. If any other notes than diplomatic
notes had passed on this occasion, there would have been no end to the
quizzing that the proceeding would have elicited. If Russia had been
BROWN and Turkey had been JONES, if France had been SMITH and England
had been ROBINSON, if Austria had been SNOOKS and Prussia had been
TOMKINS, how ludicrous would have been the "note" as drawn up by SNOOKS,
with the concurrence of SMITH and ROBINSON, but amended by JONES, and
dissented from by BROWN, on a point of personal dignity! If ROBINSON and
SMITH were required to give their good offices, by deciding whether the
note should be read in a Brownian or in a Jonesian sense, and if SNOOKS
were suspected of secretly siding with BROWN, while TOMKINS was supposed
to be shuffling out of an alliance with SMITH and ROBINSON from a secret
fear of JONES, the whole world would go off, _avec explosion_, into a
fit of merriment at the trumpery pretensions of the parties involved,
and the utter insignificance of their quarrel.

Such, however, is the true complexion to which the thing must come, if
divested of the exaggerated dimensions which are given to it by the
interests that are unfortunately jeopardised. The quarrel would be but a
very common-place quarrel, after all, if it were not for the unfortunate
fact that JOHN BULL'S nose has somehow or other got poked into the
affair, and that he will probably have to pay through the nose for the
awkward position he occupies.

* * * * *

DID YOU EVER?

Did yo