h and talons,
And the other hoofs and horn.

So in a crack from Britain's back
Let's tear the coat she has on,
And in its place our 'scutcheon grace
With Peace's proper blazon:
_Gules_ we'll eschew--that bloody hue!--
With drab the field arrange;
But _or_ and _argent_ we'll retain,
As sovereigns and small change.

Nor lion for supporter,
Nor unicorn shall stand,
But a spaniel _mendiant_, and a hare
_Funkant_, on either hand;
_In the first and fourth_, where erst were charged
Lions _passant guardant_ three,
There three hares _boltant_ to the world,
Shall Britain's symbol be.

_In the second_, that was _or
In double tressure counterflowered_--
Where _gules_, in times gone by,
The Scotch lion _rampant_ towered--
In honour of great COWAN,
And his Embro' fellows true,
In a tressure of Scotch thistles,
An ass _prancant_ you shall view.

_In the third_, that once showed _azure_,
The harp of Ireland, _or_--
Since we'll not stand such vanities
As music any more,
We mean to blazon, _argent_,
A ledger, _proper_, blank--
As typical of squared accounts,
And a balance at the bank.

"_Dieu et mon Droit_," we will withdraw,
The phrase is simple gammon;--
For "_Dieu_" read _L s. d._,--since who
Should be our God but MAMMON?
And as for _Droit_, you know 'tis Might,
Not Right that wins the game--
So "_L s. d. et _NON_ Droit_" shall be
The motto we'll proclaim!

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE ROYAL ARMS AS IMPROVED BY THE PEACE SOCIETY.

"I WISH THE BRITISH LION WERE DEAD OUTRIGHT."--JOHN BRIGHT _at
Edinburgh_.]

* * * * *

THE SARCOPHAGUS OF ART.

It is said that LORD ONSLOW has revoked the bequest that he had made of
his collection of pictures by the Old Masters to the National Gallery.
His reason for taking this step, we understand, is, that the report of
the Select Committee on that Institution has convinced him that he had
better bequeath his pictures, together with his body, to the earth, to
be buried at once.

* * * * *

POLITICAL TABLE TURNING.

Table Turning, as practised by political parties, consists in turning
statistical tables to account.

* * * * *

MARRIAGE IN "MEDIOCRE" LIFE.

[Illustration]

One of our fashionable contemporaries, of which