place be his shinin' braid. But
instead iv askin' f'r mercy, as he ought to, Hip Lung swung a flat-iron
on him an' thin ironed out his spine as he galloped up th' stairs. He
come to me f'r advice an' I advised him to see th' American consul.
Who's th' American consul in Chicago now? I don't know. But Hogan, who
was here at th' time, grabs him be th' hand an' says he: 'I
congratulate ye, me boy,' he says. 'Ye have a chance to be wan iv th'
first martyrs iv th' white race in th' gr-reat sthruggle that's comin'
between thim an' th' smoked or tinted races iv th' wurruld,' he says.
'Ye'll be another Jawn Brown's body or Mrs. O'Leary's cow. Go back an'
let th' Chink kill ye an' cinchries hence people will come with wreathes
and ate hard-biled eggs on ye'er grave,' he says.

"But Simpson said he did not care to be a martyr. He said he was a
retail grocer be pro-fissyon an' Hip Lung was a customer iv his, though
he got most iv his vittles fr'm th' taxydermist up th' sthreet an' he
thought he'd go around to-morrah an' concilyate him. So he wint away.

"Hogan, d'ye mind, has a theery that it's all been up with us blondes
since th' Jap'nese war. Hogan is a prophet. He's wan iv th' gr-reatest
prophets I know. A prophet, Hinnissy, is a man that foresees throuble.
No wan wud listen a minyit to anny prophet that prophesized pleasant
days. A successful weather prophet is wan that predicts thunder storms,
hurrycanes an' earthquakes; a good financial prophet is wan that
predicts panics; a pollytickal prophet must look into th' tea leaves an'
see th' institutions iv th' wurruld cracked wide open an' th' smiling
not to say grinnin', fields iv this counthry iv ours,' or somebody's
laid waste with fire and soord. Hogan's that kind iv a prophet. I'm
onhappy about to-day but cheerful about to-morrah. Hogan is th' happyest
man in th' wurruld about to-day but to-morrah something is goin' to
happen. I hate to-day because to-morrah looks so good. He's happy to-day
because it is so pleasant compared with what to-morrah is goin' to be.
Says I: 'Cheer up; well have a good time at th' picnic next Saturdah.'
Says he: 'It will rain at th' picnic.'

"He's a rale prophet. I wudden't pick him out as a well-finder. He
cudden't find a goold mine f'r ye but he cud see th' bottom iv wan
through three thousand feet iv bullyon. He can peer into th' most
blindin' sunshine an' see th' darkness lurkin' behind it. He's
predicted ivry war that has happened in our t