regular subscribers to _The Star_ are insured with
the proprietors of _The Daily News_ for L1,000 in the event of being
welshed on any race-course.

_THE NATIONAL REVIEW_.--Annual subscribers to _The National Review_
are guaranteed L10,000 in the event of being (a) robbed on the highway
by a member of the present Ministry; (b) defrauded by a member of the
present Ministry; (c) having house burgled by member of the present
Ministry; (d) having pocket picked by member of present Ministry;
always excluding any act or acts done by the CHANCELLOR OF THE
EXCHEQUER in a strictly official capacity.

_THE CHURCH TIMES_.--All regular subscribers are insured for L500
against excommunication. L1,000 will be paid to the heirs or assigns
of any reader who loses his head in a conflict with a Bishop (Deans,
Rural Deans, Canons and Archdeacons being excepted from the benefit of
this clause in the policy).

_THE ENGLISH REVIEW_.--Poetic contributors are insured for L500 in the
event of a prosecution under the Blasphemy Laws.

_THE DAILY EXPRESS_.--You can sleep soundly in your bed, you can sleep
soundly in your train, if the current issue of _The Daily Express_
be on your person. All purchasers are insured for L10,000 against any
conflagrations or explosions caused by bombs or combustibles dropped
from German airships.

_THE BRITISH WEEKLY_.--All readers of _The British Weekly_ are insured
for L1,000 in the event of heart-failure caused by shock while reading
the thrilling stories provided by SILAS, JOSEPH, TIMOTHY and JEREMIAH
HOCKING.

_THE RECORD_.--L500 will be paid to any annual subscriber forcibly
detained in a convent, provided that at the time of such detention a
copy of the current issue of _The Record_ be in his possession. L1,000
will be paid to the legal representatives of any reader burnt at the
stake.

_THE CRICCIETH CHRONICLE_.--L3 a week for life, together with a
poultry farm on a Sutherland deer-forest, to the owner of any shorn
lamb which is found dead in a snow-drift with a copy of the current
issue wrapt round it, to keep it warm.

* * * * *

The great world rolls on, but of the master-brains which direct its
movement the man in the street knows nothing. He has never heard
of the Clerk of the Portland Urban District Council; he is entirely
ignorant of Army Order 701.

"Dear Sir" (writes the Clerk)--"A meeting of the Underhill
Members of the Council will be held to-m