ial unhappiness was attributable to the lamentable laxity
of the clergy in joining young people in matrimony without requiring
their future relations to be clearly defined at the outset. The young
bride refused to make any comment, but seemed highly amused at the
incident....

"_Hashton Weekly Hash._"

* * * * *

"A gem ring lost last summer by Franz Schroder while
travelling in a steamer on the Danube, near Prague, was found
inside a carp caught at Mayence by his nephew."--_Manchester
Evening News_.

The fact that Mayence is not on the Danube need not bother you. Only
last week our uncle lost a white elephant while travelling in a barge
on the Regent's Park Canal, near Maida Vale, and it was found inside
the hat-box of the Editor of _The Manchester Evening News_ by FRANZ
SCHRODER. Bless you, these things are always happening.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Irate Cottager._ "Hi! YOU'RE BREAKIN' MY 'EDGE!"

_Mild Sportsman._ "OH, NO; YOUR HEDGE IS BREAKING MY FALL, AND IF YOU
WILL KINDLY PUSH ME BACK AGAIN I SHALL TRY TO REJOIN MY HORSE."]

* * * * *

THE COWARD.

It is impossible to describe to you exactly how Herbert looked. But
shame, defiance and unconcern were the principal ingredients in his
expression as he stood on the kerb and stared across the road.

He started guiltily as I approached.

"Hallo, Herbert!" I began with my customary _bonhomie_.

"Hallo!" he said dismally.

"What are you doing here?" I asked sternly.

"Nothing," said Herbert. "Have you ever noticed what a fine building
that post-office is?"

"No," I said; "neither have you. Herbert, you are concealing something
from me. What have I done to deserve it? Have I not enjoyed your
confidence these many years, and have you ever known me betray it? Is
it marriage that has changed you thus? Is it--"

"Shut up," said Herbert. "I'll tell you, if you stop talking."

I stopped talking.

"It's this way. My wife and I have had a little discussion. And I
stated my belief that there was nothing in an ordinary way that a
woman could do that a man couldn't. Whereupon she defied me to go out
and--er--buy a bloater. As you see, I have gone out, and--er--"

"Yes," I said, "you have gone out. Splendid of you! And all that
remains to be done is to buy a bloater. Why not? Yonder, if I mistake
not, is the shop of a bloaterer."

"But a bloate