r!" said Herbert. "It isn't fair. If she'd said some
salmon, or a lobster, or even a pound of sausages; or if she'd allowed
me to 'phone for it. It's not as if I'd ever had any practice. It's
not decent to start a beginner on a hand-bought bloater."

"Tush!" I said. "This is not manly. Remember, our sex is at stake.
Come!"

I took him by the arm. He advanced under protest.

Four paces from the shop he stopped abruptly and laughed--a horrible
laugh.

"Do you know," he said, "I do believe I've come out without a cent on
me."

"_I_ don't believe it for a moment," I said, "but as it happens I can
lend you pounds and pounds--almost enough for two bloaters."

Herbert reluctantly found some money in one of the seven pockets he
had not felt in. Then we advanced once more.

This time there was no going back. Right into the body of the
fishmonger's we strode and stood firmly opposite the salesman.

"_Now_," I whispered tensely.

But Herbert hesitated, and even as he wobbled the salesman began his
suggestions.

"Yes, Sir? Lobsters or prawns, Sir? Some very good salmon this
morning--very fine fish indeed, Sir."

"Er, as a matter of fact," said Herbert, "we just wanted to know if
you would be so kind as to direct us to the nearest post-office?--the
one just across the road, you know," he added nervously.

"Herbert," I said in his private ear, "be a man."

Herbert pulled himself together. "Would you," he said to the salesman,
"would you please let me look at some b-b-blobsters?"

* * * * *

A BAD DREAM.

_Sunday_.--Great news! The plan suggested by the Anglo-German Alliance
Committee is at last to be carried out. There is to be an exchange of
garrisons, that is to say, certain English towns are to be garrisoned
by German regiments, while certain German towns are to have
English garrisons. Our own town, though a small one, is to have
the distinguished honour of being the first to give this mark of
friendship to the world. All the arrangements have been made, and
to-morrow the 901st Prussian regiment of infantry is to march in.
It will be a great day for Dartlebury, and we shall all do our best,
though the public notice has been short, to give our gallant visitors
a warm and truly British reception.

_Monday_.--Our German friends have arrived. At 11 o'clock this morning
it was announced that they were approaching, headed by their band. The
Mayor, Alderman Farthingale, and the whole