," I said. "You must excuse my leaving
you."

Daphne looked surprised. "Where are you going?" she enquired.

"To get married." I walked away with my head in the air.

* * * * *

A week later I wrote Daphne a letter. It ran as follows:--

"MY DEAR DAPHNE,--I am going to get married. Tina is nineteen, the
same as you, and is in the chorus of a musical comedy. She has real
jet black hair, so I am quite lucky. I hope you are fonder of me
already.

Yours devotedly, BILLY."

In reply, and by return of post, I received an invitation to tea at
Daphne's. Daphne, looking beautiful, was awaiting me.

"How d'you do?" I said gravely.

"Billy," Daphne began, "will you be really serious with me?"

I immediately assumed a business manner and coughed.

"Well?" I said.

The word was sharp and incisive, a regular lawyer's question.

"Of course, you're joking about this chorus girl?"

"Joking! Daphne, you know I'd do anything for you."

Daphne smiled. "But, Billy, I shan't like you any better if you marry
her."

I bit a piece of cake coldly. "I don't understand you, Daphne," I
said. "When I ask you to show me a little affection, only just what
you show others, you tell me I'm young and married men are different.
I arrange to be different at considerable personal sacrifice, and you
tell me you won't like me any better." I swallowed convulsively.

"But, Billy--dear--you're not actually engaged?"

"I'm not so sure," I replied. "These girls are wonderfully sharp; and
then, of course, I'm so young." (A good touch.)

There was a silence.

"I shall hate you if you marry a chorus girl," said Daphne.

"Then why did you tell me married men were different?"

"Because most of them are." Daphne smiled slowly. "I think I might
like you better if you were married to some really nice girl."

I laughed bitterly. "To you, for instance?"

"Yes, to me," said Daphne very sweetly.

* * * * *

[Illustration: IN VIEW OF THE EXAGGERATED AND MISLEADING REPORTS OF
WHAT OCCURS AT THE CONVERSATIONS BETWEEN MR. ASQUITH AND MR. BONAR LAW
ON THE ULSTER QUESTION WE VENTURE TO THINK THAT A LITTLE MAKE-UP AND
CAREFUL CHOICE OF RENDEZVOUS WOULD ENABLE THE LEADERS TO HAVE MANY A
LONG CHAT ON THE SUBJECT WITHOUT ANYONE BEING AWARE OF THEIR HAVING
MET.]

* * * * *

[Illustration: SPREAD OF THE SERVANT-GIRL GRADUATE IDEA.

(_Interior of a super-kitch