me since 1066.

(7) Give a list of journals to which you have already sent the
enclosed contribution, and state your reasons for supposing that the
Editors were misguided. Hint that perhaps, after all, their lack of
enterprise was fortunate for the present recipient.

(8) Mention your hobbies and the different appointments you have held
since the age of twelve, with names and addresses of employers. Also
give your reasons for remaining as long as you did in each situation.

(9) State how long you have been a subscriber to the journal you are
electing to honour, and whether you think it's worth the money. Point
out any little improvements you consider desirable in its compilation,
and mention other periodicals as perfect examples. Preface these
remarks with some such phrase as this: "Pray don't think I want to
teach you your business, but--"

(10) Give full list (names and addresses) of friends who have promised
to buy the paper if your contribution appears.

(11) Give a brief outline, in faultless English, of your religious,
political and police court convictions, your views on Mr. LLOYD
GEORGE, and any ideas you may have about the Law of Copyright.

Finally, enclose a stamped and addressed envelope for the return of
your article.

* * * * *

"It has always been supposed that Charles I. when Prince of
Wales and travelling incognito with the Duke of Buckingham saw
and fell in love with Marie Antoinette."

Not by us. We always supposed he fell in love with SARAH BERNHARDT.

* * * * *

THE SAME OLD STORY.

We stood in a circle round the parrot's cage and gazed with interest
at its occupant. She (Evangeline) was balancing easily on one leg,
while with the other leg and her beak she tried to peel a monkey-nut.
There are some of us who hate to be watched at meals, particularly
when dealing with the dessert, but Evangeline is not of our number.

"There," said Mrs. Atherley, "isn't she a beauty?"

I felt that, as the last to be introduced, I ought to say something.

"What do you say to a parrot?" I whispered to Miss Atherley.

"Have a banana," suggested Archie.

"I believe you say, 'Scratch-a-poll,'" said Miss Atherley, "but I
don't know why."

"Isn't that rather dangerous? Suppose it retorted 'Scratch your own,'
I shouldn't know a bit how to go on."

"It can't talk," said Archie. "It's quite a baby--only seven months
old. But it's