ith no brightness in it, and the old times come to me so, and they
haven't had anything--really, you know, and it's awful to think of
Christmas going by without--without--I know it's a Pagan festival,
and that Christians should pass the day in meditation and fasting,
but--don't you see?'

"'Certainly,' says I. 'If there ever was a guilty party that
didn't do it, why, she's not him--you and me agree there, entirely.'

"'I beg your pardon?' says she, lookin' at me with them scart-deer
eyes of hers. 'I don't quite understand--I'm so stupid.'

"'Yes, that's what's apt to come of vegetables,' says I. 'But tell
me more about the Pagan festival.'

"I fancy Peg-leg's best couraged her up some.

"'I don't think it's a Pagan festival for children to have fun and
toys for Christmas. I don't,' she says, 'I can't. And to think of
them sitting there in that cold church for hours to-morrow--ugh!'
she says.

"Well, dear friends and brothers, I did think of 'em sittin' in
that cold church. There was a time when I uset to behave fine for
a month previous to December twenty-fifth, for the priv'lige of
seein' Uncle Santy Claus tumble down the chimbley; and I want to
say right here that all the good times I have seen sence ain't got
near enough to them good times to catch their dust. Besides which,
the merry Christmas in glassified form with which I had encouraged
myself at Peg-leg's, and the wad of that beautiful sensitive plant,
the long green, which was reposin' on my heart, says to me:
'Scraggsy, spring yourself--jump, boy, jump!'

"And furthermore, in the wildest dreams of my youth I had never
figgered on spendin' a cold and cloudy Christmas in the bosom of a
Presbyterian, Prohibition, Vegetarian Colony. It stood to reason
if I didn't do something to that colony the colony would do a thing
to Scraggs. I made up my mind that right here was where I jarred
Oggsouash to a finish.

"And further still, that poor little deluded, cold-potato-fed woman
was on my mind.

"'You mean,' says I to her--my eddication in the Mormon Church, and
what I learned about play-actin' in St. Looey, standin' me in handy
for manners--'that these here children, the offspring of cold water
and vegetables, is expected to pass to-morrow in prayer and
meditation, and be better for it?'

"'Yes, sir!' says she, impressed by my manners.

"'Well, then, madam,' says I, 'if you'll excuse my onprofessional
language, I'll say that that's a low-down, Sc