her out'n some rolls of wall-paper, but the Major had
to get along as best he could. There he lay, his little round
stummick stickin' in the air, breathin' like a wind-broken horse.

"Keno Jim and me looked after the lady whilest Hadds pranced around
the Major and cussed scientific cuss-words. Of course, Keno and me
didn't know no more what to do than a photograft of the Wild Man of
Borneo when there was a fain tin' woman in the question. As I
said, I hadn't been married enough to learn, and the present line
of Mrs. Scraggses was healthy, whatever other faults they might
have. Hadds 'ud come over and tell us half of something, and then
rush back to the Major, tearin' his hair.

"'Blast it, Hadds!' says Keno, 'quit callin' the man names and let
us know what to do for this woman.'

"'Give her a drink of whisky!' yells Hadds. 'Come here, Zeke, and
see what ails this beggar now!'

"If he hadn't called me off like that lots of things wouldn't
happened. 'Look at him!' says Hadds, and grinds his teeth. 'Forty
dollars' worth of stuff smashed--charge it, of course. Prob'ly
he's goin' to die on our hands--'twould be just like his unmerciful
nerve. Pass me that bottle of ammonia, Zeke.'

"Then Keno hollered for me. He'd pried the Majoress' mouth open,
stuck a cork in to it keep it so, and then fed her the revivifier.
She wasn't a handsome woman at the best, but with that cork in her
mouth----!

"'I gave her to there of whisky,' says Keno, indicatin' about four
Swede fingers on a water tumbler. 'Do you think that'll bring her
to ?'

"'Like a bear trap,' says I. 'Do you mean to say you sluiced that
much raw jump-and-holler into a woman that can't stand uncooked
water? Well, you are an allotropic modification of the genus
jackass, like Hadds says of the Major.'

"Keno got purple in the face. He slammed the glass down and walked
out. 'Now you can look after your own women,' says he, bitter.
Them scientific cuss-words cut him to the heart.

"I looked at the lady. The color was coming back to her face.
Evidently she'd be around in a minute or two. Then Hadds fairly
whoops at me:

"'Come here! Come 'here! You're a nice pardner, you are, standin'
there with your hands in your pockets!'

"'Well, what'll I do, Hadds?' says I.

"'Do? I don't care what you do, so long's you don't look so
aggravatin' useless. D'yer think this specimen of an officer and
gentleman appears to be--what in blazes is he doin' n