striking a knot, and after a
minute's silence roar, 'Ain't that nice, b-y-y-y GOSH!' and slam
the bottle down.

"It was tryin' on the nerves. First place, the way he come out
with that 'b-y-y-y Gosh!' hit you in the pit of the stomach like
standin' alongside a bass-drum, and it was only a question of time
when he slammed one of them bottles through the show case. So I
flagged Hadds for help, and the two of us plied the lady with
perfumery so fast that the Major couldn't get his oar in, at which
he cut loose for himself, wanderin' around behind the counter,
smellin' of every bottle on the shelves.

"It ain't everything in a drug store has as pleasant a greetin' for
your nose as perfumery, and once or twice, when I looked around, to
kind of keep cases on him, I see the Major had struck a shock. But
at last he come across a sample that pleased him. I saw him swig a
good lungful of it, and his mouth opened wide with delight.

"'Well, I guess you'll be amused for a while,' thinks I. So I paid
no more attention.

"The next thing Hadds looks up. 'Here!' he yells; 'drop that!
That's chloroform, you bull-head!'

"The call come too late--leastways, to work as intended. The Major
dropped the bottle, but he also dropped himself, two shelves, and
about six dozen glass jars of everything you ever heard of. Powers
of darkness! Flat on his back laid the hero of many charges,
whilest over his manly form and face trickled cough mixture, Canady
balsam, liniment, sugar syrup, castor oil, and more sticky, oily,
messy kinds of stuff than I'll ever tell you. The worst of it was
that a bottle of carmine had landed last in the wreck and, bustin',
flew over everything. As there wasn't a dry spot for a rod it
looked like the Major had done a turn of bleedin' at every vein
same as the young man we used to read about at school. In fact it
was much worse than that. It appeared to be the most awful tragedy
any one man ever was concerned in.

"Before we got our wits about us poor Mrs. Pumpey see her Major
afloat on a gory sea, and without askin' for explanations she give
a loud holler and fainted on our stock of fancy dishes.

"'Here's where we make a lot of money, I don't think,' screeches
Hadds--he was an excitable person, that Hadds. 'Come!' he hollers,
'help me get 'em out of here! There's enough chloroform loose to
sleep the bunch of us!'

"We lugged the Major and his wife to the back of the store. I made
a piller for