It would surprise you quite a little to hear that
number ten voice come a-roarin' out of that number two man. The
Major used to corral everything he wanted and say, 'Charge it!' two
octaves below a bull's beller, Bein' a military person, he was fond
of charges; me and Hadds, bein' plain civilians, weren't. We
charged it and we charged it, but that there Major's defenses were
impregnerville. I had told Hadds that the next time Pumpey said
'Charge it' I was goin' to take him at his word, then and there,
and rush him along on his ear till I felt better. But, of course,
now his wife was along I couldn't.

"She was just as different from the Major as anything could be: a
tall, pale, rangey woman, kind-hearted and good-natured as they
make 'em, but with a pair of nose-grabber specks, and a way of
letting her hands flop at the wrist, whilest she talked in a high
gobbley-gobble style, like singin' a tuneless tune. They made a
pair to draw to. The Lord only knows what you'd got if you filled.
My! And the general effect of that lady! She wore her hair in an
omelet, and looked as if she'd been put in her clothes by a boiler
explosion.

"There was another powerful difference between them two. The Major
he gazed on the wine when it was any color at all. He didn't care
so much for decoration as he did for quantity. He passed his time
in bein' tee'd, tee-heed, or teeterin'. On the other hand, his
lady couldn't stand plain raw water. Honest, friends and brothers!
I ain't stringin'! I have it on the word of their striker that
Mrs. Pumpey couldn't be induced to take a drink of water unless it
was boiled, and as for spirited liquors--Oh, murder! Don't mention
it!

"As the Major entered I observed upon his person a kind of
uprightness that no sober man ever had, varied with quick little
steps sideways, for no good visible reason, and when he comes up to
the counter he grabs it with both hands and says, 'How do--gla'
meecher--hot, ain't it?'

"I admitted it was hot, told him I was glad to meet him, too, and
as this last wasn't no more than a plain lie I asked the lady quick
what we could do for her.

"Perfumery was wanted, so I passed the bottles out. Mrs. Major
would take a lady-like sniff and say, 'Dee-lee-shus! Ha-oow do
eeyou lieek that, Ma-JAW?'

"And when de major laid his hands on the right one of the numerous
bottles floatin' in the atmosphere about him he'd hold it a yard
off, give a snort like a buzz-saw