ature is human nature, after all--elsewise
it would be a darned funny state of affairs--but anyhow, that
little gal's holler did something to my friends, the Oggsouashers.
I don't think I overstep the mark when I say some of 'em smiled a
kindly smile.

"'But I didn't have no time to study it. If I missed my freight I
stayed in Oggsouash over night, so, reasonin' thus, the tall form
of E. G. W. Scraggs might 'a' been seen proceedin' toward the
railroad track at the rate of seventeen statute miles per hour.
Just as I hooked on to the caboose comes a feller pastin' after me.

"'Say!' he whoops. 'Say! We want to thank you!'

"'Turn it in to the kids,' says I. 'Good-night, Oggsouash,
good-night,' I says, 'Partin' is such sweet sorrow that I could say
good-night as long as my wind held out.'

"Well, sir, it was nigh three in the mornin' when I hit Castle
Scraggs agin, after the coldest walk to be found anywhere outdoors;
but when Mrs. Scraggs come to the door--and it was one of the
blackest-eyed and snappiest of the race--and she says, 'Zeke
Scraggs! Where you been?' I just fell into her arms.

"'Bear with me, Susan, or Mary Ann, or whatever your name is,' says
I, 'for I've had a ter'ble time.'

"'You behave yourself, you old idiot, or I'll do you personal
harm,' says she.

"'Thank you, thank you for them sweet words, spoke by somebody
_alive_, anyhow,' says I. 'And this much more, Mrs. Scraggs,' says
I, 'before we part. If ever you hear me complain of anythin'
concernin' you ladies just you say "Oggsouash" to me and hold your
hand, so, to indicate an empty glass.

"'Good-night, Susanna--Merry Christmas,' says I. 'On my word of
honor, there has been one moment of my life when I was glad to see
you.'

"And I left her standin' there, with the candle in her hand,
paralyzed.

"And I can conclood, as I suggested in the beginning, that I had
not foresaw one item of these occurrences when I risked that
collar-button."

IV

THE SIEGE OF THE DRUG STORE

"Once upon a time, when I was scarcely married at all, you might
say," began Mr. Scraggs, "I quit workin' for a livin' and started a
scientific school."

"_You_ did?" cried Red, after one astonished second vanished in the
past.

"Yes, sir," replied Mr. Scraggs, "I did. _It_ was for the
investigation and pursuit of this, here doctrine of chances. The
idee was to put a little box full of playin'-cards on the table,
and draw them forth one at a time