and vermicelli soup. Contains 26 letters and only three
syllables.

* * * * *

=ANCESTORS= The originators of the Family Tree, a remarkable sex
paradox in which the Ann sisters are always the four fathers.

* * * * *

=ANGEL= A heavenly ineligible, with wings and a harp; or, an
earthly eligible, with money and a heart.

* * * * *

=ANTI-ROOMS= Euphemistic term for Canfield's, New York City.

* * * * *

=ANTI-IMPERIALIST= A patriot whose conscience works overtime.

* * * * *

=ANTIMONY= A metallic substance discovered by Valentine in 1450,
and now extensively used in the arts--particularly poker.

* * * * *

=APPENDICITIS= A modern pain, costing about $200 more than the
old-fashioned stomach-ache.

* * * * *

=ARGUMENT= Breaking and entering the ear, assault and battery on
the brain and disturbing the peace.

* * * * *

=ARSON= Derived from the Hebrew. (See =INSURANCE=).

* * * * *

=ARTIST= Commonly, the individual long haired and short-suited,
having a positive pose and an uncertain income. Often shy on
meal-tickets but strong on technique and the price of tripe
sandwiches. An artist may be a barber, a boot-black, a Sargent
or a Paderewski.

* * * * *

=ATHLETE=

[Illustration]

A dignified bunch of muscles, unable to split wood or sift the
ashes.

* * * * *

=AUGUR= One who bored the ancients with prophecies.

* * * * *

=AUTOMOBILE=

[Illustration]

From Eng. _ought to_, and Lat. _moveo_, to move. A vehicle which
ought to move, but frequently can't.

* * * * *

=AUTOMOBILIST= A land lubber on wheels made up to resemble a deep
sea diver.

Fine feathers make fine feather-beds.

B

A stitch in time saves embarrassing exposure.

=BABY=

[Illustration]

From Grk. _babai_, wonderful. Parents are yet to be heard from who
don't think theirs is a "wonder."

A nocturnal animal to which everyone in a sleeping-car is eager to
give