entirely surrounded by booze.

* * * * *

=MEDIUM= A party with one ear in the grave but both hands on your
wallet. "Hello, Central! Give me Heaven!"

* * * * *

=MELODEON= An alleged musical instrument, popular at home, but
unpopular next door. From Eng. _melody_, and Latin, _un_,
without. Warranted without melody.

* * * * *

=MENAGERIE= From Fr. _melange_, mixture, and Ger. _riechen_, to
smell. A mixture of smells.

* * * * *

=MESSENGER BOY= From Eng. _miss_, to fail, and Lat. _engeo_, to
arrive. One who fails to arrive.

* * * * *

=METER= The gas man's trysting place. "Meet her in the cellar!"

* * * * *

=MIND= No matter. =MATTER= Never mind.

* * * * *

=MINE= A hole in the ground owned by a liar.

* * * * *

=MINSTREL= A footlight foul that makes its nightly lay in every
city.

* * * * *

=MIRACLE= A woman who won't talk.

* * * * *

=MIST= Generally, a small, light rain. =SCOTCH MIST= A cloudburst.

* * * * *

=MITTEN= Something a tender-hearted girl gives a young man when
she knows she is going to make it chilly for him.

* * * * *

=MONEY= Society's vindication of vulgarity.

* * * * *

=MONOPOLY= A modern device for impoverishing others. From Grk.
_monux_, swift-footed, and _polloi_, the people. A swift kick
for the people.

* * * * *

=MOON= The only lighting monopoly that never made money.

* * * * *

=MORTGAGE= From Fr. _mort_, death, and Eng. _gag_, to choke. A
lawyer's invention for choking property to death.

* * * * *

=MOSQUITO= A small insect designed by God to make us think better
of flies.

* * * * *

=MOTH= An unfortunate acquaintance who is always in the hole. And
the only ones who try to get him out are his enemies.

* * * * *

=MOUSE=

[Illustration]

The frequent cause of a rise