mighty Muster
As ev'ry Laddie knows.

* * * * *

=MAY 1, Moving Day.= Observed everywhere by The Restless Tenant.

* * * * *

=APRIL 26= } { =In "Dixie"=
=MAY 30= } =Memorial Days= { =In the North=

A Symphony in Blue and Gray.

* * * * *

=JUNE 17, Bunker Hill Day.= Celebrated in Boston, Mass., by a
procession of the Ancient and Horrible Distillery Company, a few of
the City Fathers in hacks, a picked bunch of Navy Yard sailors and
occasionally a few samples from a Wild West Show. For 24 hours,
pistols and firecrackers are allowed to mutilate Young America _ad
lib_.

* * * * *

=JULY 4, Independence Day.= A national holiday, invented for the
benefit of popcorn and peanut promoters; tin horn and toy-balloon
vendors; lemonade chemists; dealers in explosives; physicians and
surgeons. A grand chance for the citizen-soldier to hear the roar of
battle, smell powder, shoot the neighbor's cat, and lose a night's
rest--or a finger.

* * * * *

=LABOR DAY, First Monday in September.= The only day when labor
works overtime. An occasion when the workingman takes a cane in
place of a dinner-pail and proudly tramps the streets behind a real
silk banner and a Hod Carrier on a Cart Horse.

* * * * *

=THANKSGIVING DAY (Last Thursday in November).= A day devoted to the
annual division of Turkey--with Greece on the side--by the Hung'ry
folks.

* * * * *

=DECEMBER 25, Christmas Day.= Another national holiday, marked by
the following observances: Filling the young and helpless with a lot
of fiction about Santa Claus, the old chimney fakir, who went up the
flue long ago; making a clothesline of the mantelpiece and robbing
the forest of its young; swapping several things we'd like to keep
for a lot of stuff we don't want; and, finally, putting on in church
a Sunday night performance of light opera, known as "The Sabbath
School Concert."

* * * * *

+-----------------------------------------------------------+
| Typographical errors corrected in text: |
| |
| In the main dictionary section: |
| under ANCESTORS: parodox co