* * * * *

=LOBSTER-NEWBURG= A dish ordered at hotels by those who usually
get beans at home.

* * * * *

=LOVE= A man's insane desire to become a woman's meal-ticket.

* * * * *

=LOVER= An ardent admirer who says, "Yes, dearest, I will shovel
the snow of the lake so that we can go skating!" and, after
marriage remarks, "What! Shovel the snow off the walk for you?
Well, I should say not! I'm no chore boy."

Hell is paved with good intentions--also asbestos.

M

A fool and his wife are soon parted.
See Alimony.

=MAGAZINE= A receptacle for explosives, literary or mechanical.

* * * * *

=MAGNATE= One who can float capital in a considerable body of
water. From Lat. _magnus_, great, and _nator_, to swim; a
great swimmer.

* * * * *

=MAIDEN LADY= A term applied to an old maid by those who wish to
avoid hurting her feelings.

* * * * *

=MALT= A humble grain which often gets into a ferment, cools off
and becomes Stout in its old age.

* * * * *

=MAN= Something that "Goes first on four feet, then two feet, then
three, but the more feet it goes on the weaker it be!"

* * * * *

=MAN-ABOUT-TOWN= One who is on speaking terms with the head
waiter.

* * * * *

=MANICURE= The only woman who can beat a carpenter at soaking
nails.

* * * * *

=MANNERS= A difficult symphony in the key of B natural.

* * * * *

=MARK= In Germany, twenty-three cents. In the United States, only
Twain.

* * * * *

=MASCULINE= From Grk. _maskos_, girl, and _eukolos_, easy. Easy
for the girls.

* * * * *

=MASSAGE= A touch, with intent to rub it in.

* * * * *

=MATRIMONY= A game for women, in which the unmarried half are
trying to find a husband and the married half trying not to be
found out by one. Both halves are eminently successful.

* * * * *

=MEAL= According to the Liquor Law, a minute bunch of crumbs