e
him upon the spot; but, my boy, you have the pen, and you can use it,
and a jolly sight better than the silly ass who wrote that article.
Will you answer him for me?"

The Writer smiled and shook his head.

"No, Dad, that is exactly what he wants; he would get all the
advertisement out of such a controversy that his soul craves for, and
which is absolutely necessary for him now to keep up his reputation. I
have something to suggest much better than that."

"What is it?" asked the Lord Mayor helplessly.

"Did you ever consider some of the characteristics of Ulysses, Dad?"

"Oh, they talked about him in my school-days, but I didn't have much
schooling, you know; and what on earth has Ulysses to do with this?"

The Writer grinned. "Because, Dad, he possessed a remarkably wily gift
of always finding his enemies' one vulnerable spot."

"Well?"

"I know at least two of Learned Bore's most vulnerable spots."

"Eh? Unbounded conceit and unlimited calumny?" questioned Sir Simon.

"No," rejoined the Writer, "I should say he was _invulnerable_ upon
those two points. However, two things he dreads more than anything
else. He has a horror of ridicule when it is turned upon himself, and
an unutterable and most unnatural hatred of all children."

"Well, I don't see how that helps me," rejoined the Lord Mayor.

The Writer looked at Sir Simon significantly, and spoke slowly and
deliberately so that his words might have their full effect.

"Lose no time in bringing an action against him for libel; as a
defendant he will be off his pedestal,--and at a disadvantage."

The Lord Mayor opened his eyes and whistled softly. "I never thought
of that," he confessed; "and where does his horror of children come in?"

"The chief witness for your side will be little Ridgwell," suggested
the Writer quietly; "it will be something that Learned Bore doesn't
understand, has never encountered, and will not know how to deal with,
and of the two I know whose story will be believed, however fantastic
it sounds. The child will be the one who will score, they always do in
Court, and I think that Learned Bore will live to gnash such teeth as
he hasn't had pulled, and employ the venom of his remaining fangs upon
some one else."

Sir Simon lay back in his chair and laughed heartily, and all his old
good-humour seemed to be restored to him.

"'Pon my word," he declared, "it is a capital idea of yours. How shall
I commence the action?"