_M.R.C.V.S._ "I have attended other animals, your Lordship."

_Judge_. "Very likely, very likely, but a live ass is a different
thing to a dead lion." (Laughter in Court.)

_Counsel_ (for the Defendant). "_Better_ than a dead lion, your
Lordship." (More laughter.)

_Judge_. "Not in this case." (Loud laughter.) "The learned Counsel
for the Defence need not waste the time of the Court in hearing the
opinion of either Veterinary Surgeons or experts from the Zoo. What
the Learned Counsel ought to do is to produce Pygmalion." (Titters in
Court.)

Mr. Dreadful, K.C., rising to protest. "My Lud, Pygmalion is a
mythical personage, and your Ludship knows he is of a necessity
shrouded in silence."

_His Lordship_. "So is the Lion." (Laughter in Court.)

_Mr. Dreadful_ (still exploding and still protesting). "My Lud, I do
venture to suggest that this Lion should somehow be thoroughly
examined."

_His Lordship_. "Well, it is in Court, better try for yourself. I
only hope your efforts will be as successful as Little Ridgwell's and
his sister Christine, to say nothing of the Lord Mayor of London."

_Mr. Dreadful_. "My Lud, I cannot treat with these people, it is like
dealing with the worshippers of Baal."

_His Lordship_. "Well, I really cannot sanction digging a trench and
lighting fires all round it here in my court, to make it speak." (Loud
laughter.)

After the laughter had somewhat subsided a slight stir was occasioned
in Court by the appearance in the witness-box of Mr. Learned Bore.

In reply to many questions from Mr. Dreadful, K.C., Mr. Learned Bore
stated all the incidents in Trafalgar Square which he had witnessed,
and which had given rise to the present action.

Cross-examined by Mr. Gentle Gammon--

"You are a famous playwright, Mr. Learned Bore," commenced Counsel.

"I am a playwright."

"Do you write to instruct or to amuse?"

"It is possible to combine both."

"Can you give me an example?"

"Yes, this afternoon's experience in Court."

"Wonderful as that may have been, Mr. Bore, I suggest you have not
written it."

_His Lordship_ (facetiously). "Give him a chance, he may." (Laughter
in Court.)

"Of course," suggested Counsel, "you always enjoy reading your own
articles in the papers."

"Oh dear no. I am only concerned with writing them."

"But I suggest you read them before you send them in."

"Never; the Editor saves me the trouble."

"Your articles have a read