of London
could not have been suffering from any form of intoxication in the
ordinary acceptance of the word, but that the Lord Mayor might have
been temporarily intoxicated with a sense of his own greatness. That
the noble Statue of the British Lion was regarded by the Lord Mayor
merely as a symbol of the whole British Empire, and was emblematical of
his own power under that Empire. Consequently no blame whatever could
be attached to him.

"They further found that Mr. Learned Bore had forthwith unquestionably
uttered a libel against the Lord Mayor which might have been a gross
libel, had it not been merely a stupid assertion published in a
newspaper, and not therefore to be taken seriously.

"They found that Mr. Learned Bore's evidence was flippant, and left
much to be desired; they wished accordingly to severely censure that
gentleman.

"Damages, therefore, in the case, although slight, would be given to
his Worship the Lord Mayor, together with all costs of the action.

"With regard to the Writer and Poet, they, the Jury, wished to severely
condemn all the works he had written, or _partly_ written, since he had
produced, or partly composed, one wholly seditious ballad, attempting
to make fun of the Laws of England, whereupon they expressed an earnest
hope that all his works might in future be banned."

His Lordship, after partaking of a final sip of the lukewarm water
still beside him, then delivered his verdict.

"His Lordship entirely agreed that the Lord Mayor of London had been
quite blameless throughout this case, the Lord Mayor's devotion to the
British Lion as a symbol, was the most touching feature in the case; he
would therefore have damages against Mr. Learned Bore, and Mr. Learned
Bore would have to bear the entire costs of the Action.

"The damages in this Case would not be the unsatisfactory damages
sometimes assessed at one farthing, nor would they be one shilling, or
even half-a-crown. The damages he, the Learned Judge, awarded would be
a sum sufficient to purchase a bottle of Creme-de-Menthe, and that of
the very best (sensation in Court), to be given to his Worshipful the
Lord Mayor in order to show that the fluid which had figured so
conspicuously in this Case, although it might do some people harm,
could only do good in the case of his Worshipful the Lord Mayor, since,
to use Counsel's borrowed, but apt phrase, this liquid had only made it
possible for the Lord Mayor to see sermons in br