in
Court by the child confederate of this slippery witness: it is headed
_Chorus_, my lord; it doubtless forms a last part to the ridiculous
song we all listened to in pained surprise. I contend, my Lord, that
this fragment which has come into my possession is seditious;
seditious, my Lord."

"Well, well, let us hear it," his Lordship adding hastily: "No, no,
don't sing it, read it."

"My Lord, your injunction to me is unnecessary; indeed, my Lord, I lack
all training enabling me to sing, I am thankful to say, but what is
more to the point, my Lord, I almost lack the necessary self-control to
read these seditious words unmoved by indignation. However, my Lord, I
will make an effort." Counsel reads: "'Oh, my poor tender feet.'"
(Titters in Court.)

_His Lordship_. "Well, well, that is harmless enough, the Griffin
complained of that, you remember."

_Counsel_. "My Lord, I know nothing of the Griffin, and care less
whether he complained or what he complained of, but, my Lord, it is I
who complain, and rightly so, when the majesty of the law of England is
mocked at. Listen, my Lord and Gentlemen of the Jury, to the following
lines, and their harmful wickedness--

"Of what use are England's laws
Unless they protect my claws,
And keep me warm in the street?
What snuffy old Judge in Court,
Ever gives my poor feet a thought;
Ever thinks of the snows and frosts,
Or adds up my bill of costs?"

(Titters in Court from the juniors.)

"There, my Lord," thundered Counsel, "can any one hear this iniquitous
document unmoved, these wantonly wicked lines mocking alike at Law and
Order, even at your Lordship's own almost sacred calling."

_His Lordship_. "A highly offensive and seditious document; impound
it, Mr. Dreadful, and continue your examination of witnesses, please;
time goes on."

"Now, sir," exploded Mr. Dreadful, "the Court, having with shame
listened to your ribald effusion, I will ask you what you had to drink
upon the night you and the Lord Mayor were found wandering under
extraordinary circumstances in Trafalgar Square?"

"To drink--I personally? Nothing."

"What did you have in the house, sir, at the time?"

"Oh, the usual things."

"Don't equivocate, sir; how does the Court know what you may consider
usual in your ill-regulated household. What did the Lord Mayor partake
of during the period he was in your company, in your rooms, before
going out to chase a lady who was under th