t when it comes to Germany," he concluded, "she's got to pay, and pay
in full, net cash, and then some."

III

THE PRESIDENT'S VISIT TO ENGLAND

"The alphabet ain't what it used to be before the war, Mawruss," Abe
said, as he read the paper at breakfast in his Paris hotel shortly after
President Wilson's visit to England. "Former times if a feller
understood C. O. D. and N. G., y'understand, he could read the papers
and get sense out of it the same like he would be a college gradgwate,
already; but nowadays when you pick up a morning paper and read that
Colonel Harris Lefkowitz, we would say, for example, A. D. C. to the C.
O. at G. H. Q. of the A. E. F., has been decorated with the D. S. O.,
you feel that the only way to get a line on what is going on in the
world is to get posted on this--now--algebry which ambitious young
shipping-clerks gets fired for studying during office hours."

"Well, if you get mixed up by these here letters, think what it must be
like for President Wilson to suddenly get one of them English statesmen
sprung on him by--we would say--the King--where the King says: 'Mr.
President, shake hands with the Rutt Hon. Duke of Cholomondley,
K.C.M.G., R.V.O., K.C.B., F.P.A., G.S.I., and sometimes W. and Y.'"
Morris said, "in especially as I understand Cholomondley is pronounced
as if written Rabinowitz."

"It would anyhow give the President a tropic for conversation such as
ain't it the limit what you got to pay to get visiting-cards engraved
nowadays, which it really and truly must cost the English aristocracy a
fortune for such things," Abe said, "in particularly if the daughter of
such a feller gets married with engraved invitations, Mawruss, after he
had paid the stationery bill, y'understand, he wouldn't got nothing left
for her dowry."

"Well, I guess the President wasn't in no danger of running out of
tropics of conversation while he was in England, Abe," Morris said,
"which during all the spare time Mr. Wilson had on his trip he did
nothing but hold conversations with Mr. Balfour, and this here Lord
George, and you could take it from me, Abe, there wasn't many pauses to
be filled up by Mr. Wilson saying ain't it a funny weather we are having
nowadays, or something like that."

"How do you know?" Abe asked. "Was you there?"

"I wasn't there," Morris said, "but last night I was speaking in the
lobby of the hotel to one of them newspaper reporters which made the
trip with the Presi