, an' isn't that fair
and aiquil?' It is differently told in one of the old Latin jest books,
where a certain Piero, pitying his weary jackass, which bore a heavy
plough, took the latter on his own shoulders, and mounting the donkey,
said: '_Nune procedere poteris, non enim tu sed ego aratrum
fero_,'--'Now you may go along, for not you but I now bear the plough.'
Not a few of the jokes given to modern Irishmen originated centuries ago
in other countries than theirs. The reader may recall the advice given
by an Emeralder to another at a tavern, when the latter found that his
boiled egg was ready to hatch. 'Down wid it, Murphy, ye divil, before
the landlord comes in and charges ye for a _chicken breakfast_!' The
same occurs as an old Latin joke, with this difference, that, in the
latter, the companion, when the breakfast was over, required that the
chicken eater should pay the reckoning for both. '_Ni facis, dicam
cauponi de pullo quem pro ovo absumpsisti, et solves largius._' 'Unless
you do, I will tell the landlord of the chicken which you ate for an
egg, and _then_ see what a bill you'll have to pay.'

The Germans of the present day have a story of a certain Englishman who,
on being told that his coat was burning, politely replied: 'What the
devil business is that of yours? I have seen your coat burning this half
hour, and never bothered myself about it.' Tom Brown tells us of a
roguish boy who said to a traveller, warming his feet at a fire: 'Take
care, sir, or you'll burn your spurs!' 'My boots! you mean,' quoth the
traveller. 'No, sir, I mean your spurs; your boots be burned already.'
But the best form of the joke is given by Erasmus in his Adages, as
follows:

'A certain traveller in Holland lay so near the fire that his cloak
was scorched. Which being observed by a guest, he said to the
sleeper, 'Here--I want to tell you something!' To which the other
replied: 'If it is bad news, put it off, for I don't wish to hear
any in company where all should be jolly. _Post convivium, inquit,
seria_--'save up the sorrow until after supper.' And when they had
merrily supped, 'Now,' said he, 'I am ready to hear it.' Then the
other showed him and immense hole in his cloak, and he began to
rage that he had not been warned of it in time. 'I wished to do
so,' replied the guest meekly, 'but you forbade me.'

The witty sayings of men about to be executed are numerous, but are in
m