th's account of the Frenchman learning English--is not unlike
a _tire-botte_ (or a boot-jack) which _has_ horns. Is'nt _that_ a
frantic conciliation of differences, and one which might have done honor
to Petrus d'Abano, the Conciliator, himself?

* * * * *

There are many conscientious men whose consciences tear at the first
pull--as is shown 'in the subsequent:'

CONSCIENTIOUS.

DEAR CONTINENTAL: Perhaps the following incident will cause a smile to
ripple the good-natured features of some of your readers:--In the county
of M----, the Draft Commissioner held an extra appeal for the
'conscientious men.' Now, in said county, there dwelt one Barney Mullen,
who, not being exempted at the first appeal, on 'non-citizenship'
grounds, was in 'great tribulation' in regard to the approaching draft.
Some wag persuaded him to attend the second 'hearing,' telling him to
swear that he was conscientious, and he would get his exemption papers.
So Barney was at hand at the 'appointed time and place,' At last, 'it
came to pass' that he got a hearing, and the Commissioner asked him what
he had to say for himself.

'Shure, it's consyintious I am, an' exempted I want to be.'

The Commissioner had not forgotten Barney, so, to humor his whim, asked
him if he would take the affidavit, having first read that paper to him.

'Afther David, the divil! It's me exemption papers I'm afther,' he
replied.

'Have you conscientious scruples against fighting?' asked the
Commissioner.

'Och, it's the schrupils an' dhrams both I have. I get 'em bad, too, yer
honor.'

'Well, Barney,' said 'his honor'--putting the same question to him that
he asked all others who offered the conscientious plea (and who always
gave an affirmative answer)--'if your wife was being murdered, would you
stand by a silent spectator?'

'Divil a silent spectator! D'yees take me fer a haythen? Be the howly!
show me the scallywag that would harrum a hair o' the ole 'oman's hid,
an' I'd give him sich a pelt on the gob, that he would think he'd got
forninst a horse's hoof!'

'Then we can't exempt you, Mr. Mullen.'

'Mither ov Moses!' exclaimed Barney, as he left the room, 'not exempt a
man because he wouldn't shtand by an' see the 'ole 'oman murdered!'

* * * * *

We are indebted to a friend--who is requested to call again--for the
following from

PHILADELPHIA