, what shall I conclude upon? You see how
determined--But how can I expect your advice will come time enough
to stand me in any stead? For here I have been down, and already have
another letter from Mr. Lovelace [the man lives upon the spot, I think:]
and I must write to him, either that I will or will not stand to my
first resolution of escaping hence on Monday next. If I let him know
that I will not, (appearances so strong against him and for Solmes, even
stronger than when I made the appointment,) will it not be justly deemed
my own fault, if I am compelled to marry their odious man? And if any
mischief ensue from Mr. Lovelace's rage and disappointment, will it not
lie at my door?--Yet, he offers so fair!--Yet, on the other hand, to
incur the censure of the world, as a giddy creature--but that, as he
hints, I have already incurred--What can I do?--Oh! that my cousin
Morden--But what signifies wishing?

I will here give you the substance of Mr. Lovelace's letter. The letter
itself I will send, when I have answered it; but that I will defer doing
as long as I can, in hopes of finding reason to retract an appointment
on which so much depends. And yet it is necessary you should have all
before you as I go along, that you may be the better able to advise me
in this dreadful crisis.

'He begs my pardon for writing with so much assurance; attributing it to
his unbounded transport; and entirely acquiesces to me in my will. He is
full of alternatives and proposals. He offers to attend me directly to
Lady Betty's; or, if I had rather, to my own estate; and that my Lord
M. shall protect me there.' [He knows not, my dear, my reasons for
rejecting this inconsiderate advice.] 'In either case, as soon as he
sees me safe, he will go up to London, or whither I please; and not
come near me, but by my own permission; and till I am satisfied in every
thing I am doubtful of, as well with regard to his reformation, as to
settlements, &c.

'To conduct me to you, my dear, is another of his proposals, not
doubting, he says, but your mother will receive me:* or, if that be not
agreeable to you, or to your mother, or to me, he will put me into Mr.
Hickman's protection; whom, no doubt he says, you can influence; and
that it may be given out, that I have gone to Bath, or Bristol, or
abroad; wherever I please.

* See Note in Letter V. of this Volume.

'Again, if it be more agreeable, he proposes to attend me privately to
London, wh