I received your last. And now I tell you, that
it has absolutely determined me not to go off; at least not to-morrow.

If you, my dear, think the issue of the alternative (to use your own
words) sits so lightly upon my mind, in short, that my inclination is
faulty; the world would treat me much less scrupulously. When therefore
you represent, that all punctilio must be at an end the moment I am out
of my father's house; and hint, that I must submit it to Mr. Lovelace
to judge when he can leave me with safety; that is to say, give him the
option whether he will leave me, or not; who can bear these reflections,
who can resolve to incur these inconveniencies, that has the question
still in her own power to decide upon?

While I thought only of an escape from this house as an escape from Mr.
Solmes; that already my reputation suffered by my confinement; and that
it would be in my own option either to marry Mr. Lovelace, or wholly to
renounce him; bold as the step was, I thought, treated as I am treated,
something was to be said in excuse of it--if not to the world, to
myself: and to be self-acquitted, is a blessing to be preferred to the
option of all the world. But, after I have censured most severely, as I
have ever done, those giddy girls, who have in the same hour, as I may
say, that they have fled from their chamber, presented themselves at
the altar that is witness to their undutiful rashness; after I have
stipulated with Mr. Lovelace for time, and for an ultimate option
whether to accept or refuse him; and for his leaving me, as soon as I am
in a place of safety (which, as you observe, he must be the judge of);
and after he has signified to me hi compliance with these terms; so
that I cannot, if I would, recall them, and suddenly marry;--you see,
my dear, that I have nothing left me but to resolve not to go away with
him!

But, how, on this revocation of my appointment, shall I be able to
pacify him?

How!--Why assert the privilege of my sex!--Surely, on this side of the
solemnity he has no right to be displeased. Besides, did I not reserve a
power of receding, as I saw fit? To what purpose, as I asked in the case
between your mother and you, has any body an option, if the making use
of it shall give the refused a right to be disgusted?

Far, very far, would those, who, according to the old law, have a right
of absolving or confirming a child's promise, be from ratifying mine,
had it been ever so solemn a one.*