more against the rash step. And it will be very hard
(although no seasonable fainting, or wished-for fit, should stand my
friend) if I cannot gain one month, or fortnight, or week. And I have
still more hopes that I shall prevail for some delay, from my cousin's
intimation that the good Dr. Lewen refuses to give his assistance to
their projects, if they have not my consent, and thinks me cruelly used:
since, without taking notice that I am apprized of this, I can plead
a scruple of conscience, and insist upon having that worthy divine's
opinion upon it: in which, enforced as I shall enforce it, my mother
will surely second me: my aunt Hervey, and Mrs. Norton, will support
her: the suspension must follow: and I can but get away afterwards.

But, if they will compel me: if they will give me no time: if nobody
will be moved: if it be resolved that the ceremony should be read over
my constrained hand--why then--Alas! What then!--I can but--But what? O
my dear! this Solmes shall never have my vows I am resolved! and I will
say nothing but no, as long as I shall be able to speak. And who will
presume to look upon such an act of violence as a marriage?--It is
impossible, surely, that a father and mother can see such a dreadful
compulsion offered to their child--but if mine should withdraw, and
leave the task to my brother and sister, they will have no mercy.

I am grieved to be driven to have recourse to the following artifices.

I have given them a clue, by the feather of a pen sticking out, where
they will find such of my hidden stories, as I intend they shall find.

Two or three little essays I have left easy to be seen, of my own
writing.

About a dozen lines also of a letter begun to you, in which I express
my hopes, (although I say that appearances are against me,) and that
my friends will relent. They know from your mother, by my uncle Antony,
that, some how or other, I now and then get a letter to you. In this
piece of a letter I declare renewedly my firm resolution to give up the
man so obnoxious to my family, on their releasing me from the address of
the other.

Near the essays, I have left the copy of my letter to Lady Drayton;*
which affording arguments suitable to my case, may chance (thus
accidentally to be fallen upon) to incline them to favour me.

* See Letters XIII. and XIV.

I have reserves of pens and ink, you may believe; and one or two in the
ivy summer-house; with which I shall amuse my