ieces. But I don't care for that. It
would be hard, if I, who have held it out so sturdily to my father and
uncles, should not--but he is at the garden-door--

*****

I was mistaken!--How many noises unlike, be made like to what one
fears!--Why flutters the fool so--!

*****

I will hasten to deposit this. Then I will, for the last time, go to the
usual place, in hopes to find that he has got my letter. If he has, I
will not meet him. If he has not, I will take it back, and shew him what
I have written. That will break the ice, as I may say, and save me much
circumlocution and reasoning: and a steady adherence to that my written
mind is all that will be necessary.--The interview must be as short as
possible; for should it be discovered, it would furnish a new and strong
pretence for the intended evil of Wednesday next.

Perhaps I shall not be able to write again one while. Perhaps not till
I am the miserable property of that Solmes!--But that shall never, never
be, while I have my senses.

If your servant find nothing from me by Wednesday morning, you may then
conclude that I can neither write to you, nor receive your favours.

In that case, pity and pray for me, my beloved friend; and continue to
me that place in your affection, which is the pride of my life, and the
only comfort left to

Your CL. HARLOWE.

LETTER XLVIII

MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE ST. ALBAN'S, TUESDAY MORN. PAST ONE.

O MY DEAREST FRIEND!

After what I had resolved upon, as by my former, what shall I write?
what can I? with what consciousness, even by letter, do I approach
you?--You will soon hear (if already you have not heard from the mouth
of common fame) that your Clarissa Harlowe is gone off with a man!

I am busying myself to give you the particulars at large. The whole
twenty-four hours of each day (to begin at the moment I can fix) shall
be employed in it till it is finished: every one of the hours, I mean,
that will be spared me by this interrupting man, to whom I have made
myself so foolishly accountable for too many of them. Rest is departed
from me. I have no call for that: and that has no balm for the wounds
of my mind. So you'll have all those hours without interruption till the
account is ended.

But will you receive, shall you be permitted to receive my letters,
after what I have done?

O my dearest friend!--But I must make the best of it.

I hope that will not be very bad! yet am I convinc