s been on foot: that
is to say, that you have chosen a lesser evil, in hopes to prevent a
greater.

Adieu! and Heaven direct for the best my beloved creature, prays

Her ANNA HOWE.

LETTER XXXVIII

MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE THURSDAY, APRIL 6.

I thank you, my dearest friend, for the pains you have taken in
accounting so affectionately for my papers not being taken away
yesterday; and for the kind protection you would have procured for me,
if you could.

This kind protection was what I wished for: but my wishes, raised at
first by your love, were rather governed by my despair of other refuge
[having before cast about, and not being able to determine, what I
ought to do, and what I could do, in a situation so unhappy] than by a
reasonable hope: For why indeed should any body embroil themselves for
others, when they can avoid it?

All my consolation is, as I have frequently said, that I have not, by my
own inadvertence or folly, brought myself into this sad situation. If I
had, I should not have dared to look up to any body with the expectation
of protection or assistance, nor to you for excuse of the trouble I give
you. But nevertheless we should not be angry at a person's not doing
that for ourselves, or for our friend, which she thinks she ought not to
do; and which she has it in her option either to do, or to let it alone.
Much less have you a right to be displeased with so prudent a mother,
for not engaging herself so warmly in my favour, as you wished she
would. If my own aunt can give me up, and that against her judgment, as
I may presume to say; and if my father and mother, and uncles, who once
loved me so well, can join so strenuously against me; can I expect, or
ought you, the protection of your mother, in opposition to them?

Indeed, my dear love, [permit me to be very serious,] I am afraid I am
singled out (either for my own faults, or for the faults of my
family, or perhaps for the faults of both) to be a very unhappy
creature!--signally unhappy! For see you not how irresistible the waves
of affliction come tumbling down upon me?

We have been till within these few weeks, every one of us, too happy. No
crosses, no vexations, but what we gave ourselves from the pamperedness,
as I may call it, of our own wills. Surrounded by our heaps and stores,
hoarded up as fast as acquired, we have seemed to think ourselves out
of the reach of the bolts of adverse fate. I was the pride of all my