the joke will be lost.)

"_Ah!_" he replied, adding, after a pause, "_Bah!_"

But as he did not replace his handkerchief, I, who am not easily
daunted, returned to the attack.

"_Mais, Monsieur, vous n'attendez pas a moi._" (Sir, you do not attend
to me.)

"_Diable!_" he exclaimed, impatiently. As I never permit any of our own
correspondents to use this word, I shall not break my own laws by
rendering it into the vernacular.

A compatriot of my own here came up, and with the sportiveness allowable
to intimacy, said,

"What's the row?"

I explained that I had given the French gentleman a caution as to his
_parapluie_, to which I pointed as sticking out of his pocket.

"That's his _mouchoir_," said my friend, laughing heartily, as did the
gentleman when the mistake was explained to him, and we all took off our
hats to one another. These little amenities cost nothing, but yet may be
bright oases on the ordinary stream of the battle of life.

I must reserve until to-morrow my narrative of the taking of the
Bastille, which naturally occurred to me as I gazed upon the column in
the Place Vendome, and I shall probably offer some instructive
observations upon the literature and religion of the country in which I
now find myself. But I can truly say, "England" (which includes
Scotland, and also poor Ireland) "with all thy faults, my heart still
turns to thee," a thought which must comfort those countries during my
temporary absence.

* * * * *

THE STEAM ANNIHILATOR.

It is said that "Steam annihilates both Time and Space." It is a
thousand pities, for our comfort in railway travelling, that its
annihilating powers will sometimes extend, also, to--human beings.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THIS IS THE PROTECTION A PLAID AFFORDS TO THOSE WHO DO
NOT KNOW THE WAY TO CARRY IT.]

* * * * *

TO THE NOBLE AIRL

AT THE HEAD OF HER MAJESTY'S GOVERNMENT.

(_From a countryman of his._)

Hey, ABERDEEN, are ye wakin' yet,
And are our drums a beatin' yet,
The journals lee,
Or fra' all we see,
The Russians are not retreatin' yet?

Hey, ABERDEEN, are ye writin' yet,
In hollow phrases delightin' yet,
While on Danube's banks
Thae hostile ranks
Are makin' ready for fightin' yet?

Hey, ABERDEEN, are ye prosin' yet,
On your council sofas a dozin' yet,
To the old world's sneers,
And the