ood Jane (from
Tyne-mouth)'--'happier and--I hope--wiser' is an amusement, or more,
after the day's progress towards the 'novel for next year' which is to
inspire thousands, beyond computation, with the ardour of making
innumerable other Janes and delicate relatives happier and wiser--who
knows but as many as Burns did, and does, so make happier and wiser?
Only, _his quarry_ and after-solace was that 'marble bowl often
replenished with whiskey' on which Dr. Curry discourses mournfully,
'Oh, be wiser Thou!'--and remember it was only _after_ Lord Bacon had
written to an end _his_ Book--given us for ever the Art of
Inventing--whether steam-engine or improved dust-pan--that he took on
himself to do a little exemplary 'hand work'; got out on that cold St.
Alban's road to stuff a fowl with snow and so keep it fresh, and got
into his bed and died of the cold in his hands ('strenuous _hand_
work'--) before the snow had time to melt. He did not begin in his
youth by saying--'I have a horror of merely writing 'Novum Organums'
and shall give half my energies to the stuffing fowls'!

All this it is _my_ amusement, of an indifferent kind, to put down
solely on the pleasant assurance contained in that postscript, of the
one way of never quarrelling with Miss M.--'by joining in her plan
and practice of plain speaking'--could she but 'get people to do it!'
Well, she gets me for a beginner: the funny thing would be to know
what Chorley's desperate utterance amounted to! Did you ever hear of
the plain speaking of some of the continental lottery-projectors? An
estate on the Rhine, for instance, is to be disposed of, and the
holder of the lucky ticket will find himself suddenly owner of a
mediaeval castle with an unlimited number of dependencies--vineyards,
woods, pastures, and so forth--all only waiting the new master's
arrival--while inside, all is swept and garnished (not to say,
varnished)--the tables are spread, the wines on the board, all is
ready for the reception _but_ ... here 'plain speaking' becomes
necessary--it prevents quarrels, and, could the projector get people
to practise it as he does all would be well; so he, at least, will
speak plainly--you hear what _is_ provided but, he cannot, dares not
withhold what is _not_--there is then, to speak plainly,--no night
cap! You _will_ have to bring your own night cap. The projector
furnishes somewhat, as you hear, but not _all_--and now--the worst is
heard,--will you quarrel with