n it be meant I shall live
this to the end? Then, dearest, care also for the life beyond, and put
in my mind how to testify here that I have felt, if I could not
deserve that a gift beyond all gifts! I hope to work hard, to prove I
do feel, as I say--it would be terrible to accomplish nothing now.

With which conviction--renewed conviction time by time, of your
extravagance of kindness to me unworthy,--will it seem
characteristically consistent when I pray you not to begin frightening
me, all the same, with threats of writing _less_ kindly? That must not
be, love, for _your_ sake now--if you had not thrown open those
windows of heaven I should have no more imagined than that Syrian lord
on whom the King leaned 'how such things might be'--but, once their
influence showered, I should know, too soon and easily, if they shut
up again! You have committed your dear, dearest self to that course of
blessing, and blessing on, on, for ever--so let all be as it is, pray,
_pray_!

No--not _all_. No more, ever, of that strange
suspicion--'insolent'--oh, what a word!--nor suppose I shall
particularly wonder at its being fancied applicable to _that_, of all
other passages of your letter! It is quite as reasonable to suspect
the existence of such a quality _there_ as elsewhere: how _can_ such a
thing, _could_ such a thing come from you to me? But, dear Ba, _do_
you know me better! _Do_ feel that I know you, I am bold to believe,
and that if you were to run at me with a pointed spear I should be
sure it was a golden sanative, Machaon's touch, for my entire good,
that I was opening my heart to receive! As for words, written or
spoken--I, who sin forty times in a day by light words, and untrue to
the thought, I am certainly not used to be easily offended by other
peoples' words, people in the world. But _your_ words! And about the
'mission'; if it had not been a thing to jest at, I should not have
begun, as I did--as you felt I did. I know now, what I only suspected
then, and will tell you all the matter on Monday if you care to hear.
The 'humanity' however, would have been unquestionable if I had chosen
to exercise it towards the poor weak incapable creature that wants
_somebody_, and urgently, I can well believe.

As for your apologue, it is naught--as you felt, and so broke off--for
the baron knew well enough it was a spray of the magical tree which
once planted in his domain would shoot up, and out, and all round, and
be glorious