s hands of me altogether.

And so I have been very wise--witness how my eyes are swelled with
annotations and reflections on all this! The best of it is that now
George himself admits I can do no more in the way of speaking, ... I
have no spell for charming the dragons, ... and allows me to be
passive and enjoins me to be tranquil, and not 'make up my mind' to
any dreadful exertion for the future. Moreover he advises me to go on
with the preparations for the voyage, and promises to state the case
himself at the last hour to the 'highest authority'; and judge finally
whether it be possible for me to go with the necessary companionship.
And it seems best to go to Malta on the 3rd of October--if at all ...
from steam-packet reasons ... without excluding Pisa ... remember ...
by any means.

Well!--and what do you think? Might it be desirable for me to give up
the whole? Tell me. I feel aggrieved of course and wounded--and
whether I go or stay that feeling must last--I cannot help it. But my
spirits sink altogether at the thought of leaving England _so_--and
then I doubt about Arabel and Stormie ... and it seems to me that I
_ought not_ to mix them up in a business of this kind where the
advantage is merely personal to myself. On the other side, George
holds that if I give up and stay even, there will be displeasure just
the same, ... and that, when once gone, the irritation will exhaust
and smooth itself away--which however does not touch my chief
objection. Would it be better ... more _right_ ... to give it up?
Think for me. Even if I hold on to the last, at the last I shall be
thrown off--_that_ is my conviction. But ... shall I give up _at
once_? Do think for me.

And I have thought that if you like to come on Friday instead of
Saturday ... as there is the uncertainty about next week, ... it would
divide the time more equally: but let it be as you like and according
to circumstances as you see them. Perhaps you have decided to go at
once with your friends--who knows? I wish I could know that you were
better to-day. May God bless you

Ever yours,

E.B.B.

_R.B. to E.B.B._

[Post-mark, September 25, 1845.]

You have said to me more than once that you wished I might never know
certain feelings _you_ had been forced to endure. I suppose all of us
have the proper place where a blow s