.. and he
could not well throw me further from him than by ceasing to pay
them--the thing is quite expressively significant. Not that I pretend
to complain, nor to have reason to complain. One should not be
grateful for kindness, only while it lasts: _that_ would be a
short-breathed gratitude. I just tell you the fact, proving that it
cannot be accidental.

Did you ever, ever tire me? Indeed no--you never did. And do
understand that I am not to be tired 'in that way,' though as Mr. Boyd
said once of his daughter, one may be so 'far too effeminate.' No--if
I were put into a crowd I should be tired soon--or, apart from the
crowd, if you made me discourse orations De Corona ... concerning your
bag even ... I should be tired soon--though peradventure not very much
sooner than you who heard. But on the smooth ground of quiet
conversation (particularly when three people don't talk at once as my
brothers do ... to say the least!) I last for a long while:--not to
say that I have the pretension of being as good and inexhaustible a
listener to your own speaking as you could find in the world. So
please not to accuse me of being tired again. I can't be tired, and
won't be tired, you see.

And now, since I began to write this, there is a new evil and
anxiety--a worse anxiety than any--for one of my brothers is ill; had
been unwell for some days and we thought nothing of it, till to-day
Saturday: and the doctors call it a fever of the typhoid character ...
not typhus yet ... but we are very uneasy. You must not come on
Wednesday if an infectious fever be in the house--_that_ must be out
of the question. May God bless you--I am quite heavy-hearted to-day,
but never less yours,

E.B.B.

_R.B. to E.B.B._

Sunday.
[Post-mark, October 13, 1845].

These are bad news, dearest--all bad, except the enduring comfort of
your regard; the illness of your brother is worst ... that _would_
stay you, and is the first proper obstacle. I shall not attempt to
speak and prove my feelings,--you know what even Flush is to me
through you: I wait in anxiety for the next account.

If after all you do _not_ go to Pisa; why, we must be cheerful and
wise, and take courage and hope. I cannot but see with your eyes and
from your place, you know,--and will let this all be one surprizing
and deplorable mistake of mere love and care ... bu