n the things he had before believed in, the things he
before had believed in for himself and for all the colored people, the
living regular, and the never wanting to be always having new things,
just to keep on, always being in excitements. All the old thinking now
came up very strong inside him. He sort of turned away then, and threw
Melanctha from him.

Jeff never, even now, knew what it was that moved him. He never, even
now, was ever sure, he really knew what Melanctha was, when she was
real herself, and honest. He thought he knew, and then there came to
him some moment, just like this one, when she really woke him up to
be strong in him. Then he really knew he could know nothing. He knew
then, he never could know what it was she really wanted with him. He
knew then he never could know really what it was he felt inside him.
It was all so mixed up inside him. All he knew was he wanted very
badly Melanctha should be there beside him, and he wanted very badly,
too, always to throw her from him. What was it really that Melanctha
wanted with him? What was it really, he, Jeff Campbell, wanted she
should give him? "I certainly did think now," Jeff Campbell groaned
inside him, "I certainly did think now I really was knowing all right,
what I wanted. I certainly did really think now I was knowing how to
be trusting with Melanctha. I certainly did think it was like that now
with me sure, after all I've been through all this time with her. And
now I certainly do know I don't know anything that's very real about
her. Oh the good Lord help and keep me!" and Jeff groaned hard inside
him, and he buried his face deep in the green grass underneath him,
and Melanctha Herbert was very silent there beside him.

Then Jeff turned to look and see her. She was lying very still there
by him, and the bitter water on her face was biting. Jeff was so
very sorry then, all over and inside him, the way he always was when
Melanctha had been deep hurt by him. "I didn't mean to be so bad
again to you, Melanctha, dear one," and he was very tender to her.
"I certainly didn't never mean to go to be so bad to you, Melanctha,
darling. I certainly don't know, Melanctha, darling, what it is makes
me act so to you sometimes, when I certainly ain't meaning anything
like I want to hurt you. I certainly don't mean to be so bad,
Melanctha, only it comes so quick on me before I know what I am
acting to you. I certainly am all sorry, hard, to be so bad to you,