at it was, was really
happening to him. All he knew every now and then, when they were
getting strong to get excited, the way they used to when he gave his
feeling out so that he could be always honest, that Melanctha somehow
never seemed to hear him, she just looked at him and looked as if
her head hurt with him, and then Jeff had to keep himself from being
honest, and he had to go so fast, and to do everything Melanctha ever
wanted from him.

Jeff did not like it very well these days, in his true feeling. He
knew now very well Melanctha was not strong enough inside her to stand
any more of his slow way of doing. And yet now he knew he was not
honest in his feeling. Now he always had to show more to Melanctha
than he was ever feeling. Now she made him go so fast, and he knew it
was not real with his feeling, and yet he could not make her suffer so
any more because he always was so slow with his feeling.

It was very hard for Jeff Campbell to make all this way of doing,
right, inside him. If Jeff Campbell could not be straight out, and
real honest, he never could be very strong inside him. Now Melanctha,
with her making him feel, always, how good she was and how very much
she suffered in him, made him always go so fast then, he could not be
strong then, to feel things out straight then inside him. Always now
when he was with her, he was being more, than he could already yet,
be feeling for her. Always now, with her, he had something inside him
always holding in him, always now, with her, he was far ahead of his
own feeling.

Jeff Campbell never knew very well these days what it was that was
going on inside him. All he knew was, he was uneasy now always to be
with Melanctha. All he knew was, that he was always uneasy when he
was with Melanctha, not the way he used to be from just not being very
understanding, but now, because he never could be honest with her,
because he was now always feeling her strong suffering, in her,
because he knew now he was having a straight, good feeling with her,
but she went so fast, and he was so slow to her; Jeff knew his right
feeling never got a chance to show itself as strong, to her.

All this was always getting harder for Jeff Campbell. He was very
proud to hold himself to be strong, was Jeff Campbell. He was very
tender not to hurt Melanctha, when he knew she would be sure to feel
it badly in her head a long time after, he hated that he could not now
be honest with her, he wanted