him, and then a feeling, perhaps he always had been
wrong in the way he never could be understanding. And then would come
strong to him, a sense of the deep sweetness in Melanctha's loving and
a hating the cold slow way he always had to feel things in him.

Always Jeff knew, sure, Melanctha was wrong in what she had said that
night to him, but always Melanctha had had deep feeling with him,
always he was poor and slow in the only way he knew how to have any
feeling. Jeff knew Melanctha was wrong, and yet he always had a deep
doubt in him. What could he know, who had such slow feeling in him?
What could he ever know, who always had to find his way with just
thinking. What could he know, who had to be taught such a long time to
learn about what was really loving? Jeff now always had this torment
in him.

Melanctha was now always making him feel her way, strong whenever she
was with him. Did she go on to do it just to show him, did she do it
so now because she was no longer loving, did she do it so because that
was her way to make him be really loving. Jeff never did know how it
was that it all happened so to him.

Melanctha acted now the way she had said it always had been with them.
Now it was always Jeff who had to do the asking. Now it was always
Jeff who had to ask when would be the next time he should come to see
her. Now always she was good and patient to him, and now always she
was kind and loving with him, and always Jeff felt it was, that she
was good to give him anything he ever asked or wanted, but never now
any more for her own sake to make her happy in him. Now she did these
things, as if it was just to please her Jeff Campbell who needed she
should now have kindness for him. Always now he was the beggar, with
them. Always now Melanctha gave it, not of her need, but from her
bounty to him. Always now Jeff found it getting harder for him.

Sometimes Jeff wanted to tear things away from before him, always
now he wanted to fight things and be angry with them, and always now
Melanctha was so patient to him.

Now, deep inside him, there was always a doubt with Jeff, of
Melanctha's loving. It was not a doubt yet to make him really
doubting, for with that, Jeff never could be really loving, but always
now he knew that something, and that not in him, something was wrong
with their loving. Jeff Campbell could not know any right way to think
out what was inside Melanctha with her loving, he could not use any
way