ontaining all
his money and his railroad pass. We can imagine an editor around bare as
to legs, etcetery, and out of money, but to be without a railroad pass
must indeed be a sad state of affairs. When burglars burgle an editor it
is a sign that confidence is restored under Hayes' administration. We
trust that editors throughout the State who are blessed with this world's
goods to the extent of more than one pair of pants, will send one pair at
least to John Turner, Mauston, Wis., by express. We are probably as poor
as any editor, but we have sent him those alligator pants that have
created such a sensation in years gone by. It is true they are a little
bit fringy about the bottoms, and the knees are worn through, and
concealment, like a worm in the bud, has gnawed the foundation all out of
them, but in a little town like Mauston, such things will not be noticed.
John, take them, in welcome, and when the cold winds--but you better carry
bricks in your coat tail pockets. That is the way we wore them the last
three or four years.

PECK'S BAD BOY AND HIS PA.

HIS PA DISSECTED.

"I understand your Pa has got to drinking again like a fish," says the
grocery man to the bad boy, as the youth came in the grocery and took a
handful of dried apples. The boy ate a dried apple and then made up a
terrible face, and the grocery man asked him what he was trying to do with
his face. The boy caught his breath and then said:

"Say, don't you know any better than to keep dried apples where a boy can
get hold of them when he has got the mumps? You will kill some boy yet by
such dum carelessness. I thought these were sweet dried apples, but they
are sour as a boarding house keeper, and they make me tired. Didn't you
ever have the mumps? Gosh, but don't it hurt though? You have got to be
darn careful when you have the mumps, and not go out bob-sledding, or
skating, or you will have your neck swell up biggern a milk pail. Pa says
he had the mumps once when he was a boy and it broke him all up."

"Well, never mind the mumps, how about your Pa spreeing it. Try one of
those pickles in the jar there, won't you. I always like to have a boy
enjoy himself when he comes to see me," said the grocery man, winking to a
man who was filling an old fashioned tin box with tobacco out of the pail,
who winked back as much as to say, "if that boy eats a pickle on top of
them mumps we will have a circus, sure."

"You can't play no pickle on me, not wh