ely can 24,000 cans of baked beans. When the
war will break out we do not know, but all this fixed amunition is not
being fixed for no 4th of July. It is trouble.

A TONY SLAUGHTER HOUSE.

A Milwaukee paper copies what THE SUN said about killing hogs while under
the influence of chloroform, at Keine & Wilson's packing house, and
intimates that it is all a lie. Have we lived to this age to have our word
doubted by a Milwaukee editor? This is too much. Why, bless the dear man,
the half has not been told. The firm we speak of is desirous of building
up a trade for gilt edged pork and hams, so every improvement known to the
trade is inaugurated. We did not think it necessary to describe the whole
process, but now that our word is doubted, it is necessary to do so. When
the late lamented hog is transferred from the parlor where he was
chloroformed, his body is gently, yet firmly placed in a gold lined tank,
filled with boiling Florida water and cologne, where the body remains
until the bristles become loose, when it is transferred to a table covered
with purple velvet, and the bristles are removed by the gentlemanly
ushers, dressed in the fashions of the time of George III, armed with gold
candle sticks, studded with diamonds. Then the body is taken by easy
stages, into the presence of the intestine transporter, who reclines upon
a downy couch. He raises up, brushes a particle of dust from his sleeve,
and with a silver knife cuts the hog from Dan to Beersheba, and the patent
insides are received on a silver salver, and divided among attendant
maidens. The inside of the hog is washed with bay rum, and sweet majorum
is put in. Then the hog is removed and cut up. The portions salted are
salted for keeps, and the hams and bacon are smoked in a room filled with
incense, and when the smoked meat comes out it is good enough for a king,
or a queen, or a Milwaukee editor. Lie, indeed! We should like to see
ourselves lying for one hog.

AN ARM THAT IS NOT RELIABLE.

A young fellow about nineteen, who is going with his first girl, and who
lives on the West Side, has got the symptoms awfully. He just thinks of
nothing else but his girl, and when he can be with her,--which is seldom,
on account of the old folks.--he is there, and when he cannot be there, he
is there or thereabouts, in his mind. He had been trying for three months
to think of something to give his girl for a Christmas present, but he
couldn't make up his mind what