money, or that their pass had run out, and they were trying to beat
their way, he would pull the string and they would be lifted back on the
depot steps and stood on their heads, raised in the air and made to see
stars. Col. Johnson has been offered a fabulous sum for his patent, but he
has not decided whether to sell or lease it. A trial trip was made at
Milwaukee, the other day, and though the machine was not perfect, the
experiment was not altogether a failure. A car was arranged with the
apparatus, and went out to the Soldier's Home. Col. Johnson and a number
of prominent railroad men were on board. They got a veteran soldier and a
Polack waman to allow the machine to experiment on them. The machine took
hold of the soldier and the engineer jerked. The man had one leg torn off,
and the seat of his overcoat was ruined. He wouldn't try again, so they
let the woman step on the platform. The engineer turned it the wrong way,
and the car seemed full of compressed air, and a smell of limberger cheese
pervaded the premises. When the smoke cleared off the woman was not to be
found. After voting the machine a success the party started for Milwaukee.
On nearing the city a pair of wooden shoes were seen in the air coming
down, and they lit in the the canal by the tannery. A pair of corsets
struck on Plankinton's packing house, and sections of spinal cord, and one
leg of a pair of red drawers came down on the Soldier's home, and hair was
found on the top of the car. It is thought the engineer loaded the air
bouncer too heavy, and that it kicked. However, Col. Johnson was not
discouraged, and will soon have his patent on all cars. The husband of the
Polack woman wanted Johnson to pay him three dollars, but he said he
didn't want to buy the woman. All he wanted was to hire her, anyway. Col.
Johnson is a great inventor. It was he that invented the stomach
pump, and the automatic candle enunciator, for awakening guests in the
night to take early trains. The latter he sold to Mr. Williams, of Prairie
du Chien, for a large amount and took his pay in trade.

RAISING ELEPHANTS.

Why not go to raising elephants? A good elephant will sell for eight
thousand dollars. A pair of elephants can be bought by a community of
farmers pooling their issues and getting a start, and in a few years every
farm can be a menagerie of it own, and every year we can rake in from
eight to twenty-four thousand dollars from the sale of surplus elephants.
It