re seated around a table playing seven-up for the
drinks, and as the attendant steer passes along, a speckled ox with one
horn broken, orders four pails full of Waukesha water with a dash of
oatmeal in it, "and make it hot," says the ox, as he counts up high, low,
jack and the game.

Passing the card players the visitor notices an upright piano,
and asks what that is for, and the attendant steer says they are all fond
of music, and asks if he would not like to near some of the cattle play.
He says he would, and the steer calls out a white cow who is sketching,
and asks her to warble a few notes. The cow seats herself on her haunches
on the piano stool, after saying she has such a cold she can't sing, and,
besides, has left her notes at home in the pasture. Turning over a few
leaves with her forward hoof, she finds something familiar, and proceeds
to walk on the piano keys with her forward feet and bellow, "Meet me in
the slaughter house when the due bill falls," or something of that kind,
when the visitor says he has got to go up to the stock yards and attend a
reception of Colorado cattle, and he lights out.

We should think these parlor cattle cars would be a success, and that
cattle would enjoy them very much. It is said that parties desiring to
charter these cars for excursions for human beings, can be accommodated at
any time when they are not needed to transport cattle, if they will give
bonds to return them in as good order as they find them.

GEORGE WASHINGTON.

He could not tell a lie, George couldn't. Washington, it is probable,
never knew what it was to stow away a schooner of beer, and history makes
no mention that he ever, on any pretext, eat limberger cheese. At least no
mention was made of it in his farewell address. He never was President of
a savings bank. Washington never lectured. He never edited a newspaper. He
could not tell a lie at the rates editors charge. No he was a good man,
with none of the small vices that are so prevalent these days.

BROKE UP A PRAYER MEETING.

A few months ago the spectacle presented itself of a very respectable lady
of the Seventh ward wearing a black eye. There never was a case of
ante-election that was any more perfect than the one this lady carried.

We have seen millions of black eyes in our time, some of which were
observed in a mirror, but we never saw one that suggested a row any
plainer than the one the Seventh ward lady wore. It was cut biased, that
b