to some poor family, and go drown himself.

He was about to go away, when she burst out crying, and sobbed out the
following words, wet with salt brine.

"It was v-v-v-very thoughtful of y-y-you, but I _couldn't feel it_! It is
f-f-four sizes too b-b-big! Why didn't you get number eight? You are
silent, you cannot answer, enough?"

[Illustration: "IT IS F-F-FOUR SIZES TOO B-B-BIG."]

They instinctively found their way to the sofa; mutual explanation
followed; he measured her waist again; saw where he had made a mistake by
his fingers lapping over on the first turn, and he vowed, by the beard of
the prophet, he would change it for another, if she had not worn it and
got it soiled. They are better now.

THE BOY AND THE GOAT.

A man on King Street gave a boy a goat the other day, and he tied a rope
around its neck to lead it home. The boy wanted to go through the gate,
but as the goat concluded to jump over the fence and pull the boy through
between the pickets, he let the goat have its own way. The boy got through
the fence in instalments, leaving his shirt collar and one pants leg on
the pickets, the goat dragged him out into the middle of the street, and
then there occurred a sanguinary encounter to see whether the boy or the
goat should boss the moving. At one time the spectators thought the goat
would take the boy home. The animal used the boy for a cultivator, and
they tore up the street like hands working on the road, till the goat
slipped the rope over his head, and then the boy gathered himself up by
the armful, and went and told his mother that he got his rope back anyway.
She combed him with a piece of barrel.

PECK'S BAD BOY AND HIS PA.

HIS PA GETS MAD!

"I was down to the drug store this morning and saw your Ma buying a lot of
court-plaster, enough to make a shirt I should think. What's she doing
with so much court-plaster?" asked the grocery man of the bad boy, as he
came in and pulled off his boots by the stove and emptied out a lot of
snow that had collected as he walked through a drift, which melted and
made a bad smell.

"O, I guess she was going to patch Pa up so he will hold water. Pa's
temper got him into the worst muss you ever see, last night. If that
museum was here now they would hire Pa and exhibit him as the tattooed
man. I tell you, I have got too old to be mauled as though I was a kid,
and any man who attacks me from this out, wants to have his peace made
with the insurance c