top of a box
to take the taste out of his mouth, and while the grocer charged a peck of
rutabagas, a gallon of cider and two pounds of raisins to the boy's Pa,
the boy proceeded:

"You see, Pa likes a joke the best of anybody you ever saw, if it is on
somebody else, but he kicks like a steer when it is on him. I asked him
this morning if it wouldn't be a good joke to put some soft soap on the
front step, so the letter-carrier would slip up and spill hisself, and Pa
said it would be elegant. Pa is a Democrat, and he thinks that anything
that will make it unpleasant for Republican office holders, is legitimate,
and he encouraged me to paralyze the letter-carrier. The letter-carrier is
as old a man as Pa, and I didn't want to humiliate him, but I just wanted
Pa to give his consent, so he couldn't kick if he got caught in his own
trap. You see? Well, this morning the minister and two of the
deacons called on Pa, to have a talk with him about his actions in church,
on two or three occasions, when he pulled out the pack of cards with his
handkerchief, and played the music box, and they had a pretty hot time in
the back parlor, and finally they settled it, and were going to sing a
hymn, when Pa handed them a little hymn book, and the minister opened it
and turned pale and said, 'what's this?' and they looked at it, and it was
a book of Hoyle's games instead of a hymn book. Gosh, wasn't the minister
mad! He had started to read a hymn and he quit after he had read two lines
where it said, 'In a game of four-handed euchre, never trump your
partner's ace, but rely on the ace to take the trick on suit.' Pa was
trying to explain how the book came to be there, when the minister and the
deacons started out, and then I poured the two quart tin pail full of soft
soap on the front step. It was this white soap, just the color of the
step, and when I got it spread I went down in the basement. The visitors
came out and Pa was trying to explain to them, about Hoyle, when one of
the deacons stepped on the soap and his feet flew up and he struck on his
pants and slid down the steps. The minister said 'great heavens, deacon,
are you hurt? let me assist you,' and he took two quick steps, and you
have seen these fellows in a nigger show that kick each other head over
heels and fall on their ears, and stand on their heads and turn around
like a top. The minister's feet slipped and the next I saw he was standing
on his head in his hat, and his legs