n to give him a realizing sense of the rough road a reformed
man has to travel, and got him straddle of the board, when the Dutchman
came home from the dance fullern a goose, and he drove us boys out, and we
left Pa, and the Dutchman said, 'Vot you vas doing here mit dose boys, you
old duffer, and vere vas your pants?' and Pa pulled off the handkerchief
from his eyes, and the Dutchman said if he didn't get out in a holy minute
he would kick the stuffing out of him, and Pa got out. He took his pants
and put them, on in the alley, and then we came up to Pa and told him that
was the third time the drunken Dutchman had broke up our lodge, but we
should keep on doing good until we had reformed every drunkard in
Milwaukee, and Pa said that was right, and he would see us through, if it
cost every dollar he had. Then we took him home, and when Ma asked if she
couldn't join the lodge, too, Pa said, 'Now you take my advice, and don't
you ever join no Good Templars. Your system could not stand the racket.
Say, I want you to put some cold cream on my back.' I think Pa will be a
different man now, don't you?"

The grocery man said if he was that boy's pa for fifteen minutes he would
be a different boy or there would be a funeral, and the boy took a handful
of soft-shelled almonds and a few layer raisins and skipped out.

THE WAY WOMEN BOSS A PILLOW.

Among the recent inventions is a pillow holder. It is explained that the
pillow holder is for the purpose of holding a pillow while the case is
being put on. We trust this new invention will not come into general use,
as there is no sight more beautiful to the eyes of man than to see a woman
hold a pillow in her teeth while she gently manipulates the pillow case
over it.

[Illustration: BOSSING THE PILLOW.]

We do not say that a woman is beautiful with her mouth full of pillows. No
one can ever accuse us of saying that, but there is something home-like
and old-fashioned about it that cannot be replaced by any invention.

We know that certain over fastidious women have long clamored for some new
method of putting on a pillow case, but these people have either lost
their teeth, or the new ones do not grasp the situation. They have tried
several new methods, such as blowing the pillow case up, and trying to get
it in before the wind got out, and they have tried to get the pillow in by
rolling up the pillow case until the bottom is reached, and then placing
the pillow on end and gent